1. You are not as unlovable as you feel. You cannot blame yourself for the way others choose to treat you. If they don’t want to give you their respect, it’s not because you did something wrong. Their behavior is on them. Not on you. That being said, even though you cannot control the way they treat you, you can control how much you take. You can control whether you let them continue to treat you poorly or whether you walk away. You can control your own standards.
2. You don’t have to enter a relationship to feel fulfilled. Some people might think that a relationship will make them happy, but love isn’t a cure to your sadness. It isn’t going to solve all of your problems. It isn’t going to make you feel better about yourself. If your goal is to feel fulfilled, you don’t need a relationship. You don’t need someone else to love you. You need to learn to love yourself.
3. Not everyone is going to shatter your heart. It might seem like it’s impossible to find anyone half-decent to date, but there really are people who will handle your heart gently. People who will give you their complete respect. People who will never let you down. You just have to keep looking, keep your heart open, keep your hopes high.
4. You deserve to be loved the right way. It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through in the past. It doesn’t matter what kind of baggage you’ve been carrying. It doesn’t matter how strong your insecurities are. You deserve to be loved right. You deserve to be respected. You deserve to be admired. You deserve everything you’ve ever wanted in a relationship, so don’t settle for less.
5. Everyone has gotten their heart broken. Don’t start thinking there’s something wrong with you because you got dumped or cheated on or strung along. Every single person out there, no matter how beautiful or intelligent they are, has gotten screwed over. Stop looking for a reason it happened and simply accept it happened and move on.
6. Passion and excitement don’t have to go hand-in-hand with toxicity. You’re going to keep getting screwed over if you keep falling for toxic people. People who play mind games with you. People who have screaming matches with you. People who manipulate you. Even though the boys who are hard to get might feel sexy and mysterious, it doesn’t mean they’re going to make great boyfriends. It doesn’t mean they’re right for you.
7. Sometimes, you’re the one who needs to change. You can’t force someone else to change. You’re not in control of their emotions, their actions, their heart. You’re only in control of your own decisions, which is why you might need to change your bad habits. If you’re always getting into bad relationships, you need to break your self-destructive pattern. You need to raise your expectations. You need to remind yourself that you are a catch and you deserve to find someone who would never dream of screwing you over.