1. Everybody you went to high school with who stayed there is married/engaged/pregnant/all of the above.
2. Facebook drama.
Everybody knows everybody, and for whatever reason, small town people are wayyy more likely to start fights online, which very quickly draws in everyone.
It’s also ALWAYS Facebook. Never Instagram or Twitter. People are more than willing to put their names on what they say, and I guess you gotta respect that.
3. Everybody knows who you are even if you never had any interaction. Also you get judged based on your family members they know. You become ‘So and So’s kid’ not your own identity.
4. Everyone leaving their bikes on the lawn right next to the road.
5. When you recognize the car driving toward you, so you both roll down the window, stop in the middle of the street, and say hi.
6. Why are you chatting to this customer when you can see I’m waiting to be served?
7. People nipping in to the shop and leaving their keys in the ignition with the engine still running.
8. Combining middle and high school into one building.
9. Inability to find any form of reliable internet.
10. When someone asks you for your phone number and you just have to give the last 4 digits because everyone has the same area code and first three digits.
11. There’s a post office, bar, and gas station/grocery store and that’s it.
12. When their “mall” is literally just a plaza.
13. Small town festivals. There are several small towns in the area I live and so many of them have festivals. Old South Day in Ochlocknee, GA, Swine Time in Climax, GA, The Blue Crab Festival in Panacea, FL, The Watermelon Festival in Monticello, FL and plenty more but those are all that are coming to mind at the moment.
14. Not able to get any delivery like Dominos etc.
15. Knowing all the kids at your door on Trick or Treat night.
16. Everyone waves at everyone. YOU MUST WAVE. When in doubt, you BETTER FREAKING WAVE. Don’t know that person? WAVE. Do know that person? WAVE. Don’t like that person? JUST WAVE.
17. No mail delivery off the main road – everyone has a PO Box at the post office.
18. The mayor is also the judge and the high school football announcer and possibly also a volunteer firefighter, and has a regular job too.
19. Driving an hour and half for “civilization”.
20. The high school football team is the talk of the town.
21. Can’t buy alcohol on Sundays.
22. AppleBee’s is the top place for going out (for food and nightlife… there was a DJ on Saturday nights).
23. Everyone knows where everyone lives. People ask where I live, I say “Bob Brown’s old house,” and they’re like, “Oh okay I know where that is.” The other day the UPS guy dropped a package off at work and asked for my name to sign it, he said oh you live at (my address). Yup.
24. Having cows walk past your house in the middle of the night and waking you up.
25. Cash only businesses.
26. People not locking their doors at night.
27. No police presence. Closest city with a PD would have to drive there if needed. If a serious injury occurred it would take about an hour for ambulance to arrive so helicopter would usually be dispatched instead.
28. The smell of manure.
29. No major fast food franchises, or only a few of them.
30. Poorly maintained roads.
31. The gas station also serves as a post office/restaurant/beauty salon/hangout spot for the retirees.
32. Driving around doing nothing.
33. All the stores close for the day at 1pm.
34. One stoplight.
35. Everyone knows everyone and newcomers will always be considered newcomers until at least the third generation.