1. He shouldn’t guilt trip you when you’re not in the mood for sex. If you say you aren’t in the mood, he should accept it. He shouldn’t drill you for an explanation about why you aren’t in the mood. And he shouldn’t try to change your mind by whining about how he did such a nice thing for you lately or how you aren’t going to get the chance to see him again in a whole week or how it’s not fair that you gave him blue balls. No means no. It doesn’t mean maybe. It doesn’t mean ask again. It doesn’t mean pressure me until I change my mind.

2. He shouldn’t refuse to hang out with you when you’re on your period — or beg for blowjobs. If he plans his hangout sessions with you based around your time of the month, he’s an asshole. Sex shouldn’t be the only reason he’s hanging out with you. He should be perfectly happy cuddling with you when you’re on your period. He shouldn’t complain about your period. He shouldn’t be grossed out by your period. And he shouldn’t use the opportunity to beg for blowjobs. He shouldn’t decide you don’t get to orgasm during your period but he still should.

3. He shouldn’t shame you for the amount of times you’ve had sex. You shouldn’t be embarrassed about being a virgin. You shouldn’t be embarrassed about your number being in the double digits, either. Your person probably isn’t going to want to think much about your past sexual encounters, but he certainly shouldn’t be shaming you for them. He shouldn’t treat you as lesser, based on the amount of people who have been in your bed.

4. He shouldn’t try to control what you do with your body. If you want him to wear a condom, don’t allow him to make excuses about why he doesn’t want to wear a condom. Your body is your business. If he’s not going to respect your wishes and get tested when you ask or use the type of birth control that make you comfortable, then you can find someone else to fuck.

5. He shouldn’t pressure you into trying stuff you aren’t interested in trying. He shouldn’t be surprising you in the middle of sex with a kinky new toy you know nothing about. He should be discussing it with you ahead of time. And if you’re not comfortable acting out one of his fantasies, he should accept your decision.

6. He shouldn’t refuse to go down on you. He can’t expect you to go down on him whenever he’s in the mood and refuse to go down on you at any time at all. Relationship should be equal, and that extends to your sex life. If he orgasms whenever you’re in bed together, but you have to wait until you’re alone with your vibrator in order to get off, something is horribly wrong. Don’t keep letting him get away with that shit.

7. He shouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable about your body. Sex is supposed to make you feel sexy. If your person waits until you’re naked and vulnerable to point out how you should lose a few pounds, they don’t deserve to have sex with you. Or anyone for that matter.