1. If you’re with your forever person, they aren’t going to mind if you turn them down. They’re going to understand that you aren’t always going to be in the mood. They’re going to accept your no without pressuring you to do anything else or trying to guilt trip you into changing your mind.
2. Your forever person will love you for more than your body. They’re going to be happy they have the opportunity to spend time with you, even if sex isn’t involved. They’ll love having conversations with you as much as they love kissing you.
3. Sex is best when it’s enthusiastic. If you aren’t really in the mood, then the sex isn’t going to be all that great anyway. You don’t want one person to be super into it and the other person to be waiting for it to end. You both want to be having a good time.
4. If you feel like your person is going to leave you if you say no to sex with them, then you’re with the wrong person. Besides, you shouldn’t be using sex as a bargaining chip. You shouldn’t have an unspoken agreement that you’ll keep having sex with them as long as they stay with you. Sleeping with them isn’t going to convince them to love you or to treat you any better than they would otherwise. If you think sex is the only reason they’re staying, then you should be the one to leave.
5. You shouldn’t compare your sex life with the new couples who are sleeping with each other every single day. You shouldn’t compare your current sex life to your old sex life either. Even if you haven’t been sleeping with our partner as much lately, that doesn’t mean something is wrong. It might mean you’ve both been busy lately. It might mean your priorities as a couple are shifting. Relationships are constantly changing, so by next month, you might be doing it every single day again.
6. You aren’t a bad partner if you aren’t in the mood for sex. You aren’t letting down your person if you aren’t in the mood for sex. You aren’t doing anything wrong if you aren’t in the mood for sex.
7. Your sex life is between you and your partner. It isn’t anyone else’s business. You don’t have to swap stories with your friends when you’re sipping mimosas at brunch. You can keep your private life private. Your friends don’t have to know everything.
8. Sex isn’t the most important thing in the world, but it is important to make sure you and your person are on the same page. If they’re unhappy with your sex life or you’re unhappy with your sex life, then you should discuss it. Maybe you can spice things up. Maybe you can come to a solution. Or maybe you’ll have to part ways. But if you’re still both happy overall, then don’t keep track of how many times you’re having sex per week. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you’re happy together.