1. That they’ll meet someone better than me. It’s happened far too often and I don’t know if I could ever not have that thought in the back of my mind.
2. That I’ll smother someone in affection and it’ll turn them off from me. I’ve always felt emotions strongly, and sometimes I have to reign it back, but I worry that I’ll fall for someone hard and they won’t have the same reaction.
3. That I will lose myself in the relationship like I always seem to do and will become a shell of a person whose whole life revolves around the other person.
4. That they’ll realize I’m not really that great once they really get to know me, or that they were bonked on the head and eventually will get their brains unscrambled and run for the hills.
5. That the tiny things that the other person does, the weird habits which you don’t understand, which seem adorable or quirky initially, might start grating on you over time.
That you’ll run out of things to say one day and you will not not want to know how their day went or what they’re up to.
Going out on dates will just be a formality because it is a familiar and convenient ritual, and you have adjusted to it now even though you don’t care about meeting.
6. Losing my independence and not being able to do what I want, when I want. Guess that’s why I’ve been single for so long and don’t really want a relationship.
7. The other person playing me/cheating on me. That happened once when I was heavily interested in a person and was wanting to move forward in our relationship. It hurt me when I found out and took a long time to get over.
8. The biggest one of all, the idea of being so comfortable with someone that you could open up and show all of the skeletons in your closet, all of the fears and doubts.
And one day, maybe not now, maybe not later, maybe never, that information could be used to hurt you in a way that could never happen by chance.
9. Getting cheated on. Worst kind of betrayal, and statistically, it’s going to happen.
10. Having an amazing relationship and loving each other a lot but having a fundamental incompatibility which means you don’t have a future together and at some point you have to make the decision to break up despite nothing being wrong.
11. The fear of me becoming less interested in my SO over time.
12. Being left with no certain reason.
13. “Am I just seeing this person through rose-tinted glasses?”
14. Can I trust this person?
15. Being emotionally invested in something that might not work.
16. How long til they poof… 😅 always ready for people to leave me.
17. Do they like me for me or were they hoping I’d change for them over time.
18. That I go too far, too fast.
19. Having my time wasted. You don’t find me attractive anymore? Cool. You fall out of love? Great. You want to stop communicating? Splendid. You find someone else? Fantastic! If you cannot be man or women enough to try to fix things or simply just don’t want to, thats understandable. But just don’t waste my fucking time no matter how much you think it’ll hurt me.
20. That she’ll notice the things I’m insecure about and leave me.
21. I’m afraid that they’ll lose interest or stop being attracted to me.
22. Missing out on something better.
23. That the woman isn’t interested in me, I’m just really nice, kind, sweet, charming and cute and so she thinks she should be interested in me.
24. That they don’t like me back, even if it is only a platonic relationship. I worry every day that my friends only hang out with me because they feel bad for me. If I don’t get enough attention in a relationship then I start to panic and wonder if it’s one-sided.
25. That I will let them down.
26. That the relationship might end badly and you can’t even be friends.
27. That it’ll turn out my SO is a serial killer/rapist/pedophile.
28. Am I gonna fuck this up somehow?
29. That things I told him in confidence will no longer be kept to himself.
30. That they don’t really feel the way they say they do.
31. That it will become abusive like my first long term relationship.
32. Having to break up.
33. I worry that I’ve already met and lost the love of my life (which is something I didn’t believe in before I met her). I worry that I’ll never value any relationship enough as it will always feel like a consolation prize and that whoever I’m with will sense that and it will tear us apart. I crave intimacy like any human being but fear it will cause too much pain for everyone involved.
34. What if opening up to them has unforeseen long-term consequences that fuck my life or their life up?
35. I lost my partner 2 weeks ago. He was 36. Just went to sleep and never woke up. No idea why. The post mortem results won’t be ready until after Christmas.
So I’m going to go with the fear of losing them unexpectedly.