1. Just move a few states away. Once you aren’t available to hang out whenever and do them favors and stuff they forget you in a couple weeks.
2. Start dating a controlling/ manipulative person. The kind that will lie to you about your friends to drive a wedge between you.
3. Be the first in your group to get married or to have kids. Adios amigos.
4. Basically just be depressed. Most “friends” soon lose their patience once they realize you’re not going to snap out of it.
5. Become friends with their exes.
6. Realize that you’re usually the one that initiates hanging out.
Stop initiating to see if anyone actually thinks of you.
No one thinks of you and doesn’t hit you up.
Slowly ghost out of the friend group because you weren’t that important anyway.
“Friends” don’t notice nor care.
7. Have either you or your friend create a debt. The best way I’ve seen it is: “There are two sure ways to lose a friend, one is to borrow, the other is to lend.”
8. Finish school and enter adulthood.
9. Suck at responding to texts and calls.
10. Stay single and watch your friends leave one-by-one as they all get married.
11. Start avoiding them to spend more time alone with your S/O.
12. Stop drinking… Or don’t stop drinking. Both work.
13. Stop asking to hang out because you feel like you’re annoying and unimportant even though it’s not true.
14. Have your spouse die. Nobody knows what to say, nobody knows what to do, they just stop coming around.
15. Say anything political.
16. Have something traumatizing happen to you, then they will just leave because they think you are crazy or are tired of hearing about your problems.
17. Always ask for help and support but don’t give it back.
18. Get a possessive gf/bf.
19. Becoming an askhole. What is an askhole? An askhole is someone who always asks for advice when dealing with life’s issues, is given good and positive advice, and never once follows through. Yet, the askhole has the audacity to turn around and complain when the issue happens again. Thus, confirming the askhole will then again come asking for advice, and never change. So that. That is a fast way to lose all your friends. Don’t be an askhole.
20. Naming my rapist worked for me.
21. Say you have a crush on one of them.
22. Have kids.
23. Get diagnosed with a chronic disease. I’m floored at many people tell me I’m exaggerating/ lying and need to get over myself. I’m like… That’s not what the doctors say. There’s no amount of doctor’s data that can get through their thick skulls.
24. Leave a religion that you were raised in in which everyone is told to shun those without the same beliefs. It’s heartbreaking.
25. Addiction. You may not lose ‘everyone’, but you’ll lose all but the most determined and loyal friends. Nothing separates the 2 quite as well as losing all sense of hope for one’s own life – even family members give up at that point.
26. Have bad hygiene.
27. Sleep with all of their boyfriends/girlfriends and post everything online.
28. Push them out of your life because you feel as if you’re being a toxic nuisance to everyone you meet.
29. Become homeless. It will cause most normal people to drop you pretty fast. If that doesn’t work, staying at their place for more than a few days should finish the job.
30. Start critiquing them on all their flaws, all the time; every time.