What Would All 50 States Smell Like As Candles?

1. Washington – evergreen trees.

2. Pennsylvania – chocolate and mushrooms.

3. New York – uncollected garbage baking in the sun.

4. Texas – oil and feedlots with a little TexMex food thrown in.

5. California – sourdough bread and marijuana smoke coming through the air conditioner from another car on the highway.

6. Minnesota – morning lakeside dew and decaying fish.

7. Wisconsin – beer and Polish sausage.

8. Indiana – three layers: coal, corn, mosquito.

9. Nebraska – corn and cow shit.

10. Tennessee – gasoline and Cracker Barrel.

11. South Carolina – I’m not sure you can make a pothole scented candle, but maybe one that smells like tar or worn tires?

12. Oregon – weed.

13. Illinois – wet corn/hay.

14. Kentucky – a bourbon scent or a freshly-mowed lawn scent.

15. West Virginia – pepperoni rolls and deer meat.

16. New Jersey – the pine barrens, smokey, charred and burnt from the usual summer dry fires.

17. North Dakota – it supposedly has a real nice scent, but any time you try and light it, the temp drops to absolute zero and the winds hit 70mph, and it blows out the candle. We’re still wondering what the hell it smells like.

18. Missouri – BBQ and meth.

19. Arizona – that pre-rain mesquite smell with sunscreen.

20. Maryland – old bay seasoning and polluted bay water.

21. Idaho – fresh cut onions. I know y’all think this state is all about potatoes, but in a few weeks time when all the onions are harvested, the entire state will smell like a giant freshly chopped onion. They literally load the trucks to overflowing with onions, and for several weeks you’ll find onions on the side of the road – even in pretty large metro areas.

22. Kansas – the air after a fresh spring rain… that unexpectedly turned into a violent storm and knocked over the fertilizer plant.

23. Delaware – a light airy beach smell, mixed with some farm and the smell of money.

24. Rhode Island – coffee extract and seafood, with a hint of lemonade on the side.

25. Utah – essential oils.

26. Connecticut – smells like taxes.

27. Vermont – maple or hops.

28. Georgia – peanuts and chicken shit.

29. Arkansas – pine and honeysuckle.

30. Louisiana – crawfish boil.

31. Florida – sunscreen and rain.

32. Nevada – alien ass.

33. Wyoming – like sage after the rain

34.New Hampshire – heroin and lilacs.

35. Iowa – corn, pig shit, stale Busch Light.

36. Massachusetts – Dunkin Donuts coffee, flavored with Championships in all major sports.

37. North Carolina – pollen.

38. Michigan – new car.

39. Mississippi – pollen and meth.

40. New Mexico– roasted green chile.

41. Montana – skunk on the highway.

42. Maine – cigarettes and lobster.

43. Colorado – pine.

44. Alabama – it would smell like my cousin.

45. Virginia – peanuts.

46. South Dakota – Reservation Pine. As in its tolerable due to the pine after scent.

47. Hawaii – tourist-scented candles

48. Oklahoma – heat and cow crap.

49. Ohio – burning rubber.

50. Alaska – smoked salmon.