1. Hollywood walk of fame… filthy, covered with dog shit and trash…
2. Salem Witch Museum outside of Boston. Hokey as hell. Try visiting the Rebecca Nurse homestead for a more accurate historical representation.
3. Plymouth Rock is just a rock on a beach surrounded by a brick wall.
4. Well, it’s more like one small facet of a bigger tourist attraction, but The Mona Lisa.
That whole area of the Louvre is clogged, the crowd inside is crushing, and all you can see are people their phones up in the air to take pictures above everyone else’s heads (assuming they still allow photos, I was there years ago).
The painting itself is fine, and likely very rewarding to students of art history who want to see the real deal, but man it’s not worth the hassle.
5. The American side of Niagara Falls. Do yourself a favor, plan ahead so you have the proper documents (if coming from the states), and visit the Canadian side of Niagara Falls.
6. Scotland here. Loch Ness. There are so many other nicer places to see in Scotland. If you have to ‘do’ Scotland, Edinburgh, golf and whisky are solid bets, but you’ll have more scenery ‘bang for your buck’ in places like Torridon, Skye or Assynt.
7. Everest. Why risk your life to be marched up a deadly mountain in a fucking line? Makes no sense to me
8. For me personally, the Times Square ball drop for New Years. It’s cold, crowded, very commercial and only offers limited access to bathrooms.
9. Seattle person here. The gum wall in Pike Place. It’s gross. Totally disgusting and all it is is a bunch of chewed up stale gum stuck to the wall. You can practically see the germs running around in it. I’ve seen it up close one time in all the years I’ve lived here cause a cousin that was visiting from out of the country wanted to go. But OMG. 🤢
10. Stonehenge, they’ve got it roped off from 50 feet away. It’s expensive, there’s nothing else there, and you can see it from the road anyway.
11. Sydney Opera House. The tours are expensive and the inside is kind of underwhelming. The outside is free and is also the best part. ALTERNATIVE: Just walk around Sydney harbor. It’s free and gorgeous.
12. Texan here casting a vote for the Alamo. Smaller than you think. Located in downtown San Antonio. Also there isn’t even a basement.
13. South of the Border. With the amount of billboards they put up you’d think that there was something worth checking out. There isn’t, and it’s kinda creepy.
14. Eiffel Tower. Cool up close. Don’t go up though. ALTERNATIVE: Go up Tour Montparnasse instead as it’s cheaper, has a much shorter line up and you can actually see the Eiffel Tower.
15. Anne Frank House. Not worth the lineup, IMO.
16. Statue of Liberty. Why even bother? Take a cheap boat cruise around Manhattan and they’ll take you up close to it for a good view. No point in lining up to go in. ALTERNATIVE: Hudson River cruise
17. Breckenridge ski resort. It is the most visited ski resort in America and I worked at a rental shop this winter. Some people would rent and then wait almost 2 hours in the line for the first lift, then complain and demand a refund because they barely got to ski. Just stop coming here, there’s plenty of other resorts if you just drive an extra hour, and also everything is cheaper if you’re willing to just travel a little further. The town itself isn’t even that cool, it’s just a bunch of T shirt shops and most of the restaurants are overpriced and serve tiny portions. There’s nothing else to do besides spend money and drink. Just go somewhere else lol
18. Empire State building. Go to Rockefeller instead.
19. Madame Tussauds. Overpriced and packed with schoolchildren and tourists, it’s not surprising that very few Londoners go there.
20. If you go to the Great Wall of China, I’d suggest not going to the section right there in Beijing. Very rebuilt and touristy.
Take a van ride a ways out of the city, to the Simitai section. Now there’s some uncrowded, old-school Great Wall.
21. 4 corners monument. In the middle of nowhere, costs 5 bucks a person and is surrounded by shitty little shops on all 4 sides. its terrible, hot, and dusty.
22. Fisherman’s wharf in San Francisco. It’s full of shitty stores that sell badly designed SF themed shirts and knock off hand bags. Sure the fresh made sourdough at Boudin is nice, but the rest of it is just so sad. I would say that’s it’s the equivalent to Hollywood Blvd, full of tourist traps and low quality souvenirs.
23. “World’s Largest Ball of Twine” in Darwin, Minnesota. I mean, if you’re willing to go to Minnesota as a tourist, skip the silly twine ball and head on up to see Big Ole in Alexandria. At nearly 30 feet tall, Ole is America’s biggest Viking! You’ll be glad you visited this important landmark.
24. In Edinburgh, sack the shitty “Edinburgh Dungeon”. just a tourist trap.
Instead go to the Royal Mile and outside the Tron church you’ll find Auld Reekie Ghost Tours. It’s just a guy with flyers and a wee stand in a shitty costume but that’s the one you want. They actually take you to the places things happened and into the vaults underneath the bridges.
25. The Mall of America. I live in the suburbs and I rarely go. It’s overcrowded and overpriced. It’s really not worth it. Most locals don’t like going either.
26. The Little Mermaid statue in Copenhagen. Absolutely disappointing. Such a nice city deserves a better attraction.
27. Voodoo Donuts in Portland, Oregon. Just pour Cap’n Crunch on a gas station donut and save yourself an hour standing in line.
28. That one Vegas sign everyone takes pictures at. Super long lines and I learned in class that it’s technically not in Las Vegas.
29. If you watch South Park, there’s an episode about Casa Bonita. It’s real. It’s in Denver. It sucks. Only tourists go. The food looks like a frozen TV dinner. But they really do have indoor cliff divers, so, cool I guess…?
30. The spire in Dublin. It’s literally just a big stick. What annoys me is that while it’s a cool stick and all, there’s the GPO next to it, which is 100x more interesting. I mean, the building literally has authentic gunshot damage from a revolution over 100 years ago.
31. Georgetown Cupcakes in DC is way overrated. Cupcakes that have WAYYYYYY too much icing that’s kinda hard, you know? Cakelove, a smaller bakery chain with a few locations in and around the district, is way better
32. Hey, one that SEEMS like it isn’t worth it, but totally is : ROCK CITY. People from the East coast of the US know what I’m talking about–there’s ads for it painted on barns and shit over like 10 states. It’s the fucking weirdest place on Earth. Like, it makes an appearance in Neil Gaiman’s “American Gods” and dude understates its weirdness, b/c it’s literally unbelievably weird.
33. Anne of green gables house in PEI. Seen a 1800s Canadian house? Then you’ve seen that house.
Everything around it is nice though.
34. The Liberty Bell. Wait on a long line with annoying Asian tourists who try and cut the line just to see a Bell. There’s a window in the back where you can see it without the long line.
35. Chinatown in San Francisco. Sure, there’s the red gate… and that’s it. The first few blocks are shops full of touristy crap; you have to go to the side streets and back a few blocks more to get something like Chinese-American culture.
36. Oktoberfest. Way too crowded for my liking. I had a much better time at fests in the smaller villages.
37. The Palace of Versailles. It’s become so crowded that you have to push your way around people to make it through the castle. It’s also developed a huge pickpocketing problem. A lot of people go just to take a photo in the hall of mirrors.
38. The Bean in Chicago. But every time I go to Chicago with someone, they want to see it sOoOooOo bad.
39. Waikiki Beach. It’s a horrible, crowded concrete beach surrounded by traffic and overpriced stores.
Go to literally any other beach in Oahu. But the coolest thing to do is drive up to north shore, and pick a spot on any one of the many relatively isolated beaches there and enjoy the scenery.
40. Dracula’s castle (Bran’s castle). It looks ok from the outside but for me it’s just an overglorified mansion on a rock. If you’re in Romania and you want to visit a proper castle visit the Corvin Castle.
41. Ole faithful. Yeah, its a bucket list thing, but there are better (Lone Star geyser!) ones around. You have to walk a couple miles to it, but much better experience.
With anything Yellowstone, get more than a mile from the road, and the Yellowstone Experience totally changes! I loved Shosone Lake, great swimming experience. The Shosone and Lone Star geyser basins were awesome. And NO PEOPLE
42. Space Needle in Seattle. It is expensive, the lines are extremely long (usually they give you a time to return just to GET IN line), the snack prices are outrageous, it isn’t even that tall, and it isn’t centrally located.
Go to the Columbia Center instead. Half the price of the Needle, no wait, indoor 360 view, reasonably priced snack stand, centrally located, and 60% taller!!! It is the tallest building in Seattle.
43. Leaning Tower of Pisa! The town it’s in is shit, and there’s really nothing else to do in the town but get your tacky photo posing like everyone else in history has. It’s full of shops and street vendors selling leaning tower merch. No culture. I couldn’t believe I wasted my time there.
44. Hoover Dam. It’s only good for making some dam puns.