33 Families Describe Their Experience With Narcissists, Psychopaths, And Sociopaths

33 Families Describe Their Experience With Narcissists, Psychopaths, And Sociopaths

These people on Ask Reddit aren’t sure how to handle their family members.

1. It’s always difficult to share my problems with them because they also had that same problem at some stage of their life and it was much harder for them than it is for me apparently.

2. It’s interesting really. My mom died recently. When I called my sister to come down the day before she died she said, “I thought she was going to die today. I’m not disappointed, but I can’t keep missing work.”

The next day I called her to come to the hospital again as the doctor and I made the decision to take her off the ventilator. On the phone she said, “Well, can we pull out the tube as soon as I get there because I have plans tonight?”

She also proceeded to ask me for rent money that day, as I also live with her.

The things they say, and don’t realize how messed up it is is really baffling.

3. My daughter was hit by a drunk driver when she was 12 and nearly died. She was in a coma for two weeks and I was there all day every day, except to go home to shower and change. My sister decided that when I was at the hospital was the perfect time for her and her druggie girlfriend to jimmy the sliding door off the track, break in and steal everything she could find–jewelry, my camera, and yes, my daughter’s piggy bank.

The bitch stole the piggy bank from a comatose kid.

4. When I was 10, my mom put a lock on my door because my brother started threatening to kill me and my mom in the night. When I was 14, he fixated on my mom and threatened to burn down our house, shoot my whole family, and steal all the valuables and drive away. That same year, (he was 17), he took our car and ran away from home for two weeks. We ended up calling the police on him. When he came home, the police decided that it would be best if he lived somewhere else so he did. As we were cleaning out his room we found hundreds of knives, a hand gun, lighter fluid, gasoline and lighters.

5. Oh god where do I begin. She fed my hamster to our cat because I wouldn’t let her name it. She woke me up when I was sleeping in my mom’s bed by punching me and then proceeded to break my index finger with the door when I fought back just because she wanted to sleep there that night. She also poured bleach over my clothes because she was mad that I was doing laundry when she needed to. Honestly there’s a whole lot more but those are some of the major things.

6. She threatened to self-harm because there was a miscommunication over what my parents would give her boyfriend – now husband – for Christmas.

7. My twin sister is a narcissist along with being psychologically, physically, and verbally abusive in general. She has:

– Told me she wished my host family would murder me (I was on foreign exchange).

– Told me that I’m worthless and she should have killed me in the womb.

– Gone through all my things to the point where I have to take 20+ pictures of my room every time I leave the house so I know if she’s touched my stuff.

– Read all my diaries, and once stole an incriminating one and gave it to my social worker to keep me in the mental institute longer.

8. My sister, who is 8 years older than me, chased 6 year old me around the house with a knife so I would leave her alone… because she was babysitting while my parents were on a date… and I needed food…

9. My sister is way too into herself. She has no real friends but she has like 60 thousand Instagram followers. She literally just spends her money on new clothes and the newest iPhone to take selfies. And when I say she has no real friends I really mean it, she never leaves the house, never had a job, dropped out of high school. But she thinks she’s the greatest thing god graced this planet with. I don’t really talk to her because anytime I try she’s just taking pictures of herself with different outfits. It’s really annoying, I don’t know why my parents condone/finance this lifestyle.

She gets it from my mom, she’s kind of the same way.

10. My sister broke my mom’s arm just because she was trying to get a toaster out of the cabinet. I really don’t understand why that was such a big deal to her. Also when my mom was sick she threatened to pour hot coffee on her if she didn’t get out of bed and do shit for her that she could have easily done herself. She also would hit the pets for no reason and talked about murdering strangers because she thought it would be fun. I finally got her out of here and away from us about a month or so ago but it was long overdue, as she is currently 31 years old. There’s a lot more shit but yeah I’m just glad she’s finally gone. I still have nightmares about her.

11. One of my older siblings killed his neighbor’s cat because the cat would come in to his yard. So one day he trapped the cat and put him in a sack and beat it with a bat. At the time I was 15 and idolized him so I didn’t know the severity of what he did. He’s killed other animals, he took another neighbor’s dog and dumped him in town 50 miles away just because the dog would bark sometimes.

He’s an evil sadistic asshole. But tell that to my parents and other siblings and they defend him to the end.

12. One time, I didn’t order my sister a pizza, and she locked me out of the house for the rest of the day.

Another time, she asked me to make her a sandwich which I then forgot to put cheese on and she screamed, “You did this just to fuck with me!” Then beat me up.

13. Oh boy, my big sis kicking down door frames because she “had something inside,” strangling my little sisters, picking up knives to threaten my mom and young kids, smashing furniture, pouring juice in gas tanks, breaking my brother’s nose and always begging, borrowing, and leeching. And somehow they always “deserved it.”

14. Nothing is ever their fault, it’s always yours.

15. My entire childhood my sister would manipulate me and anyone else she could. Had a baby when she was a teen, so I “babysat”. I was seven years younger, and basically raised her first two kids.

She would move across country at the drop of a hat, upending her kids lives numerous times. All of her kids had different dads. She’s been married 3 times.

Our mother almost died a few years ago, and she made the whole thing about her.

Her kids don’t even talk to her anymore. They are all adults now, and I’m their support system.

I own the house our mother lives in, and she tells me everything I should do for our mom and fix the house. I pay the mortgage, I buy her groceries, I make sure she gets to the doctor, but that isn’t enough for my sister. Does she offer any support? Nope, just criticism.

She gives me endless shit about how I bought a nice house for my family when our mom’s house needs a new roof. Told her if she pays for it, I’ll get it fixed. She says she can’t afford it. Yeah? Me neither.

Since the beginning of the year, she got hooked on drugs, left her husband (who should have been the best thing to ever happen to her, he’s great). She’s attempted suicide and tried to say it’s everyone else’s fault. She was in a psych ward for hallucinations and hearing voices. Again, it’s everyone else’s fault.

I haven’t seen her since the holidays last year and I plan to keep it that way.

16. I’m pretty big, but my older brother is huge and burned my face in a fire simply because I was playing with his toy.

We haven’t spoken in a long while, but I’m sure one day we will run into each other again.

17. I caught my younger brother catch a mouse kill it himself and feed it to his snake. One time when he broke his arm climbing over a fence instead of screaming in agony he laughed crazily.

18. When we were younger, we had no heat and he would come into my room and take my covers. I was too small to fight back so I’d just lay there and freeze all night. He’d threaten me that he’d hurt me if I told our mom.

As we got older, he became a drug addict. He would steal my mom’s pain medication and anxiety medication so he could get high. If my mom had any money, he’d steal it from her. He used to steal her car but she wouldn’t do anything because she didn’t want him in jail.

After my mom died, he broke into our house and stole several of our things. The cops said they could do nothing about it.

He got all his kids taken away because he and his baby momma were doing meth while she was breastfeeding and their baby almost died. He still says that his kids shouldn’t have been taken away. He seriously doesn’t understand. He actually said to my dad, “She just smoked a little bit. I don’t know what the big deal is!” They are about to have another baby.

I hate him and want nothing to do with him. We are half siblings. Our older brother, who was his full sibling, died earlier this year and I constantly wonder why it was him and not my awful brother. I don’t even consider him family anymore.

19. My sibling is not a sociopath or psychopath, but is narcissistic with extreme anger issues. He would intentionally start arguments. The slightest response from me would be his excuse to go mental. Worst was once when he choked me after I tried to defend myself, only stopped because I threatened to call the cops. Later my dad sided with him saying I shouldn’t have made my brother angry, and that if I did call the cops, they’d laugh at me and would do nothing. That’s idiotic, obviously. Bear in mind my brother was 6’1 and athletic, while I was a skinny 5’4 teenager that was 5 years younger. I’m now an adult and in the military, and don’t plan on talking to either of them much after I leave.

Needless to say if he ever tries something like that again, he’ll be lucky if he isn’t hospitalized. Count on it.

20. My dad is as much of a narcissist as it gets. I didn’t realize that it was abnormal until I moved out of the house and out of state. When I finally came back I remember him calling me one day to tell me to give him $10 because he claimed he need to grab something to eat.

“Sorry but I don’t have $10 to give you.”

“You don’t have $10 to give your dad? Come on I’ll pay you right back I just need it to go down to the store so I can eat.”

“I don’t have it, so you’ll have to put on your big boy pants and make some money for yourself.”

“Well I was gonna ask your sister, but I don’t wanna ask her because she’s my daughter, ya know?”

I hung up after that. A few minutes later he calls me and says, “Hey your sister just sent me the $10, see it wasn’t that hard.”

21. I’m not even totally sure of my older brother’s diagnosis but several years ago I found out through his journal that he had an elaborate plan to murder me and had apparently attempted to before, but couldn’t go through with it. His reasoning was mostly because I was mean to him as a child, but really he was the one cruel to me?? The part that really fucks me up is that both my parents knew about his wish to kill me and never said anything to me, let us sleep under the same roof. They always coddled and treated him differently than me. He is severely mentally ill, likely a psychopath, has been in a mental hospital now for several years. I cut contact with my parents as soon as I moved out.

22. My sister has dialed down her act a bit, after we have all spent a few years out of our raging NPD asshole father’s house. I mostly remember a MASSIVE sense of entitlement that simply made no logical sense and would require a great deal of cognitive dissonance to explain. Like, she would never loan me things (CDs, etc.), but had no problem walking straight into my room, in front of my face, to take a bottle of body lotion to use on herself. She seemed to have no remorse for what her behavior did to others, so long as she got what she wanted out of the deal. Sometimes, she would just do and say mean and spiteful things for no reason.

I talk to her from time to time. While is less of a self-involved sociopath, she still is insufferably self-righteous.

23. Brother was doted on as a child because he was gifted at basketball. Literally had no consequences growing up and could do whatever he wanted. Treated me and our parents like absolute crap and they still doted on him, while I would get the belt for the most benign and asinine stuff. My brother’s life is absolute crap right now, he has no sense of self-worth and just gets hand outs from my parents. He is in his late thirties and my parents are giving him money for rent and food. He wants everyone to feel sorry for him and expects everything to be handed to him. He can’t do anything on his own and guilt trips and manipulates my parents into doing whatever it is he needs doing for him or just giving him extra funds. He has no incentive to change and is content playing video games all day while my parents just enable his lifestyle. At holidays he just talks down to me and tries to make me feel bad about how ‘difficult’ his life is. I could care less about him and have no desire to talk to him until he makes some serious changes in his lifestyle and life choices.

24. Growing up, she had total control of my life. She criticized what I wore, listened to, ate, everything. If I was different I was weird, if I liked what she liked then I was copying her. She tried to scare me multiple times with guns and knives, claiming she never would actually hurt me but she would hold up a samurai sword to my throat and tell me if I moved I died.

Eventually she had at kid when she was 19 and I was 16, and for a year she was a good mother and then decided she didn’t want to be a mom anymore. I’ve seen her ruin countless people’s lives, spanning from just stringing them along to draining their bank accounts to contributing to them being put in jail for domestic abuse (she’s still waiting for trial on her charge). I despise her and she is not family to me. I had so many issues growing up that only stemmed from things she did to me and I don’t want to see my niece grow up like that. My parents are doing a wonderful job of raising her but she doesn’t understand why mommy isn’t there and it breaks my heart.

25. They’re insane, and always mad about something petty. Somehow everything is related to their projected social image, regardless of context or content.

26. I haven’t spoke to my brother in 3-4 years. Last time I did he went after my wife and that was the last straw for me. Since then, my parents have cut him off, he lost his job, and his life has spiraled. Not sure what he is up to now but my quality of life has improved with him not in it.

27. Lived an entire lifetime not being aware that it isn’t normal to run to your bedroom and hide when dad gets home. That it isn’t normal to be scared of your parents reactions to, well, anything.

Becoming a mom and having little kids that I just looked at and knew… I could never beat them up for picking a flower, or shame them for not knowing how to hang a shelf, or throw grubs at them if they come outside, or throw potato salad at them if they say they don’t want any. It wasn’t normal and only just now am I realizing all of that.

28. She called the cops and CPS, repeatedly accusing our step-dad of child abuse. It usually lined up with her having rules and punishments. She didn’t like that my parents did research on how to raise a psychopath that doesn’t become a murderer, they suddenly knew all her tricks and tactics. I sometimes think about how sad it must be to be physically incapable of feeling human emotions, but it clearly would only hold her back.

29. They can make drama out of any situation and will try to drag you into it even years later.

Example: I am the next to youngest. My whole family is a shit show, but when I was planning my wedding, I was still trying to pretend I had a reasonable family. My future husband’s family was like Leave it to Beaver.

So I asked both of my sisters to be bridesmaids. I knew this was a risk, but I hoped they could keep their shit together for a single evening. At the time, I thought they had.

About 8 years later, we were in the same city because one of our brothers was in the hospital due to a bad car accident. We had one hotel room across the street from the hospital so people could go rest when they needed to.

I was in that room with my oldest sister when she said, “You know {middle sister} stole wine glasses from your wedding, right?” I told her I didn’t care.

A couple of hours later, I was in that room with my middle sister. She said, “You know {older sister} stole glasses from your wedding, right?” I also told her I didn’t care.

So here we are, waiting to see if our brother was going to die and both of these bitches are playing reindeer games with me, trying to make me be angry with the other one.

Our brother lived. I’ve cut contact with all my siblings because they are all like this. They have to start shit no matter what the situation or consequences.

30. When she threw a cup of hot tea at my face because I refused to show her something on the computer. Or the time when she yelled at me for over an hour because I was really sick and had thrown up all over the bathroom sink. The same bathroom she had just cleaned.

I stopped speaking with her over 7 years ago.

31. Brother believes the world is his oyster and that friends and family and loved ones are his to control and exploit.

He told a girl they are dating and she should buy him a car and take him out for dinner.

Brother has also tried to burn down our childhood home thrice because mom didn’t give him the things he wanted, we were poor and he knew that but he honestly believes that he gets what he wants because that’s how it should be.

He also tried to sell my car, he still hounds me for the money he should have gotten if he sold it.

32. My sister has never been diagnosed with narcissism or a personality disorder other than OCD, but when we were younger she often enjoyed telling people before I met them that I had a “difficult relationship with the truth” so that they wouldn’t want to be around me. I had the reputation of a liar and no friends for most of my preteen years, and she was popular in our homeschool group until she left and got into high school. After she left, I still didn’t have friends, but neither did she, and she blamed me for it during her frequent temper tantrums. She would throw things, scream, cry, and threaten me with kitchen knives on a pretty regular basis. All of a sudden, the year that I turned 17 and she turned 21, the tantrums stopped and she got engaged. He moved in with us, the tantrums started again, and for once I wasn’t the target. The worst fight they had happened when she caught him looking at a photo of a bikini model, which she considered cheating. She hit him full force with an open palm, and when our mum saw, she threatened to kick her out if she hit him again. They got married, moved out, and divorced within a year of him enlisting in the army.

33. I was playing with a suitcase while watching TV. I was small enough to fit myself in it. My brother, nearly four and a half years older than me, saw what I was doing and asked to zip me up in it. After already having learned to never trust him, I asked Mom to watch us to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid.

He zipped me up inside the suitcase and started carrying it in a shuffle-step.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

I heard the sliding door to the enclosed patio open, Mom started screaming and I could hear her slapping my brother repeatedly. The suitcase fell over onto its side with me still in it.

I managed to pry open the zippers from the inside and got myself out of the suitcase as quickly as possible. Mom was still slapping at my brother, screaming, “Why?!

I was two feet away from being dumped inside a suitcase into the family hot tub.

He laughed and said that I would have floated, what’s the big deal?

So, yeah, that’s what it was like growing up with a sociopath. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

January Nelson

January Nelson

January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University.