1. Terrible decision really.
2. You didn’t say it like you mean it…
3. My mom used to say that too.
4. I love youtube.
5. I just got my 23andMe results and it turns out we are related
6. You don’t love me, just the dick.
7. …And I love spending time with you!
8. Shut up, baby, I know it.
9. I love you too [pause] but as a friend [pause] my best friend.
10. Did you know the capital of Ethiopia is Addis Ababa? Not that I’m trying to change the subject…
11. On a scale from 1 to 10 my friend you’re fucked.
12. Get in line, babe.
13. Cheers, I’ll drink to that.
14. New phone, who dis?
15. Of course you do. I’m awesome.
16. If I could only get your sister to say that…
17. That’s just the ecstasy talking honey.
18. If you really loved me you would swallow.
19. What the fuck is wrong with you?
21. Really? I don’t.
22. I love… cake.
23. That’s your problem.
24. I love me too.
25. Awesome sauce.
26. Thanks, but I was really hoping to use you to get closer to your sister so I could bang her.
27. I wish I could say the same.
28. This complicates things.
29. Thank you.
30. Oh… ohhh nooooo. Oh no. No…