Why You Should Go Fuck Yourself, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Why Your Ex Should Go Fuck Themselves, Based On Their Zodiac Sign

Aries – Fuck you for canceling plans at the last second and taking ages to respond to the simplest texts.

Taurus – Fuck you being so damn stubborn and refusing to compromise with the people who care most about you.

Gemini – Fuck you for being too lazy to put anything more than the minimal amount of effort into your relationships.

Cancer – Fuck you for expecting everyone else to make your decisions for you.

For the person who is always googling astrological compatibility when they meet someone new.
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For the person who is always googling astrological compatibility when they meet someone new.

How You’ll Do Everything Based On Your Zodiac Sign includes an exhaustive analysis of each sign’s personality. You’ll learn which high school clique represents them (Pisces are the cool art kids), who would get eaten first in a scary movie (Gemini, obviously) to how each sign prefers to say ‘I love you’ (for Taurus, it’s with good food). Alternating between silly, sweet, and serious, this book is filled with deep dives into the mind of everyone whose birth chart you can get your hands on.

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Leo – Fuck you for assuming you’re always right and refusing to listen to anyone else’s opinion.

Virgo – Fuck you for trying to micromanage everyone else, for trying to convince everyone to do things your way.

Libra – Fuck you for being unreliable and constantly changing your mind about what you want.

Scorpio – Fuck you for being manipulative, controlling, and more jealous than you have any right to be.

Sagittarius – Fuck you for sending mixed signals and being unclear about what you want and who you want.

Capricorn – Fuck you for being such a pessimist, for assuming the people who love you are going to hurt you when they haven’t done anything wrong.

Aquarius – Fuck you for distancing yourself, for raising your guard, for refusing to let anyone into your heart more than halfway.

Pisces – Fuck you for trying to run away from your problems instead of facing them head-on like a mature adult. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University.