Only Retail Workers Will Understand These 50 Stories About Serving Demon Customers

1. I worked at McDonalds in 1997 and we had Beanie Babies as happy meal toys at one point. It was insane.

They literally had to buy a security cage to keep the toys locked down in the back. They were delivered with a security escort. People were ordering “100 happy meals with no food” because we couldn’t sell the toys by themselves.

One day I heard a commotion up front and found my high school counselor reaching across the counter grabbing one of the owners by the shirt because we were out of the pink flamingo. I’ll never forget the look in her eyes. She had to be dragged out. It’s scary how easy it can be to work people up into a frenzy.

2. I used to work at Gamestop. As everybody knows, you can trade older games and systems in for store credit or cash. Because of this the local police department deemed us a pawn shop and we had to follow all the state laws regarding a pawn shop. This included needing a driver’s license in order to trade or sell your games, and a thumb print on the store copy of the receipt.

One day a gentleman brought in a single game and wanted to trade it in for store credit. I explained everything to him and he was fine with it. He had his little brother pick out a new game and then he completed the trade and was on his way.

About an hour later a very irate woman comes in with the younger brother and DEMANDS to talk to the person who let her little boy trade in his game. This escalated quickly because she was insisting that she be given the receipts to see who did the trade. By law we cant hand that over so, she called the cops.

The older brother shows up about the same time the cops do and the police officer removes the family from the store so he can sort things out. The mom calms down and decides that the game the younger brother got isnt bad and stops demanding to reverse the trade.

The police officer does the usual thing and runs the drivers licenses of both the mom and the older brother and low and behold, the older brother has a bench warrant and gets arrested on the spot. The mom looses her shit and starts screaming at the cop. Mind you the store is pretty busy and every single person in the store is glued to the windows watching all of this go down. The mom I guess realizes she has an audience because she does a quick glance at the store then tells her younger son to get in the car then leaves.

So in the end, she came in expecting to tear the employees a new one and winds up getting her son arrested.

3. I worked in a T-Mobile store. A lady comes in screaming about how she bought a phone the previous day, didn’t buy insurance and dropped it in a pool. She was demanding I give her a new phone for free. But, she wasn’t even our customer. She was a Verizon customer. She screamed at me for about ten minutes demanding I call our manager. She then started yelling at other customers about how awful we were. Called the cops.

4. When the old guy I was serving kept looking at my chest and making creepy facial expressions, I asked him if he wanted a drink or he was just going to keep staring. He excitedly put his hands out and went ‘oh, I can do more than stare!’ and tried to walk behind the bar to grab my chest. I told him to get the fuck out, to which he seemed very shocked and outraged so I just started to loudly shout back to him ‘sir, please do not try to grope my chest. You need to leave’ over and over until the rest of the bar was staring and he was whispering for me to please be quiet. So the wife I didn’t know he came with wouldn’t hear him. Can only imagine the argument that unfolded while she was dragging him out.

5. I used to work the reception desk at a tattoo shop. I had MANY gtfo moments but the one that stands out was a dude coming in with his girlfriend to get his name tattooed on her. She looked terrified, wouldn’t make eye contact with me, didn’t talk directly to me, and barely spoke. The whole conversation was the dude giving me her license and saying, “SHE wants MY name tattooed on to her.” I took way more info from both of them than I needed and tried to get the woman to come in back alone so I could talk to her, but boyfriend wouldn’t have it. I eventually went back and got the shop manager (big dude) and told him what was up. I came back to the counter and lied saying we didn’t have walk-ins that day and dude got pissed. I started yelling, shop manager came out and physically removed them from the shop. I called the cops and provided all the info I had. Was basically told they couldn’t do anything unless it was self-reported. I still think about the woman all the time.

6. He got in my face, physically, to intimidate me. When I didn’t back down, he resorted to telling me I’m fat and unpleasant. All because he wanted a free replacement of a 15 year old item that he’d used to hell and back. Things is, if he’d be a normal fucking human and not put his weasely fucking face kissing distance from mine while yelling and spraying his spittle everywhere— I’d have worked something out for him. Instead he has a life long ban from my whole ass company.

Like, what made him think he could run up on me? Like that would work out for him in some way. I don’t know how I had the strength not to Hit him.

7. Used to work in comic book. Had this older guy come in which a box of assorted 90’s comics. All crap. He’s got about 30 of them? They’re all going in my dollar bin, normally it’s 10 cents a book but I figured I’d be nice so I said $5 for the collection.

He gets upset because his comics are worth millions apparently. So I told him straight up “you’re welcome to keep them if you’d like, but they’re going right into my dollar bins so I’m not going to pay you more”

For reference I’m a mid 20’s woman working alone in a small store. He is a 60’s something grumpy old man. This also takes place in Canada.

He finally agrees but then says, “If I come back and see these books on the shelf for more, I’m going to get my gun and shoot you.”

At this point I drop his box back on the counter and step away and said, “Did you just threaten to kill me? Get out, I’m not buying your comics anymore.” He tries to play it off like he’s joking but I stood my ground and told him to get the fuck out and that he had threatened my life over $5.

Then I closed the store and cried for a while. What kind of asshole do you have to be?

8. I work at a bowling alley and a lady put 7 names on her lane instead of the 5 she paid for. When this happens the lane will shut off and to restart it you have to pay for the excess people. We tried explaining this to her and she flipped her shit. She was accusing us of all kinds of crap and causing a huge scene. She threw a half full beer bottle over the register at my manager so we promptly told her to “GET THE FUCK OUT”. We have a cop on duty at night for reasons like this and he told them they had 5 minutes to leave or else. This lady starts saying we were kicking her out because she’s black. My manager and the cop, who are both black, just looked at each other and laughed.

9. I worked at a Buck-A-Book. I was the only employee there at the time (my manager was asleep in the back office and nothing would wake him up). I was in a cast and on crutches from having broken my ankle and so I was sitting behind the counter. I wasn’t even supposed to be back at work for another week, but my manager had whined about being alone and forced me back. It was pouring buckets of rain that day. A woman came in and bought 100 books (some hardcover) for her school. She demanded that I carry all these books out to her car for her. Our two wheeler was in the back room with my sleeping manager and banging on the door for 15 minutes failed to bring him out. I explained that I couldn’t help her with the books because of my cast. She threw a fit and demanded that since she spent $100 that I close the store and carry each and every box out to her car in the pouring rain by myself on crutches. I may have said more than just “get the fuck out”.

10. Arby’s drive thru woman says she wants a triple cheese and bacon with no cheese and no bacon. I tell her that the triple cheese and bacon with no cheese or bacon is just a regular roast beef. She says she doesn’t want a regular roast beef. She wants a triple cheese and bacon with no cheese and no bacon. (The order is on an intercom everybody hears this that works there).

I give her what she asks for.

Comes in complains there is no cheese and no bacon.

11. Today is March 2, 2019. I work at a restaurant.

Had a customer come in today with a bill from November 26th, 2018 demanding a refund because her pizza was not good.

Get. The. Fuck. Out.

12. Worked at a gas station to help our family out. I’m a mom in my forties. Carded a young man for an alcohol purchase and he was too young. Apologized and told him I couldn’t sell it to him. HE THREW THE WINE BOTTLE AND IT HIT ME IN THE FACE. Well, you don’t mess around with a mama of four teenagers. I was across the counter and frog matching him out before he knew what had hit him. One of my regulars jumped in and “helped” by tossing him into the parking lot. Sported a nice bruised forehead for a few days.

13. Just today I was called a cunt twice because I wouldn’t allow a pitbull to run free throughout the grocery store. Tomorrow, who knows who gets shown the door.

14. When someone let their toddler climb into the cereal display racks, go behind the cereal, and take a shit. I watched the whole thing. They knew I was watching.

And they just walked away when the kid climbed out.

15. I was a supervisor at a popular coffee chain that had a rule that employees were not to be in the store alone (so for example, when opening you had to wait for your second barista outside and then enter together). This was to prevent theft, but anyway, that meant we couldn’t put out our patio furniture until our 3rd came in.

A customer began demanding I set up the patio, to which I advised him of the above. When I co tinier to refuse, he said “let me speak to your supervisor” and I said “I am the supervisor.” Obviously now super pissed, he says “you’ll never get ahead if you don’t break the rules every so often,” to which I responded “well I certainly didn’t get promoted by breaking all the rules, now you can order and stop harassing me, or you can leave.”

He promptly stormed out.

16. Treating the cute little bartender like a whore so she went back to the kitchen to tell us cooks and we went out there to tell him off. He tried getting us to wait on him instead, until the other cook just said fuck off.

17. Was working the register at my mom’s business when some guy came in and started bragging about how many slip and fall suits he has in progress. I was like, “Please, very carefully, GTFO.”

18. A guy smoking right next to the gas pumps. As a 16 year old it felt weird to tell a man three times me ages if he wanted to kill himself that would be okay, but don’t take my customers and me with him. There is more to the story but that’s the GTFO part.

19. Two women came into the store screaming at each other. As I’m coming out from the back, I gather from the yelling that one had nearly hit the other’s car. Nearly, but no actually incident had occurred. It was a busy Saturday, people are starting to stare. I’m trying to gather my wits, thinking how best to handle it, when my manager came flying in from nowhere. She just yells, “Either come in here and shop like people or go outside with the rest of the animals!” One left, one stayed.

20. I worked in a college bookstore years ago and this guy came in and I greeted him. He then turned around and I saw he had a bag on him and store policy was to have customers leave bags up front so I politely said ‘Oh we don’t really show bags in the store, could you please leave it in the cubbies’

He then got upset and started loudly saying ‘I have My COMPUTER In Here, I CAN’T Leave it here’

We normally would put things like that behind the counter so I offered him that choice and he started Flipping Out like CRAZY

By this time the store manager came out and asked what all the yelling was about and the customer started to berate Both me AND The Manager about how crazy or was that he couldn’t keep his bag on him

My Manager was known to not take shit from Anyone so after his rant she just told him ‘If You Don’t Like Our Policies, Just Get THE FUCK OUT’

She will probably be my favorite his of all time

21. Broke a large light bulb on the floor near the door and as I was cleaning, customer comes in barefoot… “Sorry sir, just broke some glass in here how about telling me what you need or coming back in a minute with shoes?”

“I don’t care, you workers are all huge pussies these days, I worked in a nail factory barefoot blah blah…”

…as he continues to walk closer.

“Did you really just override my request and expect to be served?”

insert more disrespect

Cue register lock, come around and hold the door open to leave, GTFO but in nicer terms .

22. I worked at a men’s formal wear store. This woman tried to return a fleece blanket. Being a formal wear store you see we didn’t sell fucking blankets. On top of that the blanket was ratty looking as hell and obviously didn’t have a receipt so I told her there was nothing I could do for her. She goes nuclear.

We had a signal where under the counter line if we twirled our pointer finger (like you would do next to your ear to say this persons crazy) it basically meant there’s no use trying to smooth this over, this person just sucks. Just literally screeching over me not taking a blanket that looks like it belonged to a homeless person in a store that doesn’t sell blankets. My manager told her to leave or he would call security.

23. My wife was a pub landlady and I was one of her regulars, we caught a customer wanking to porn in the bar. It took less than 30 seconds from spotting him before he ended up swimming in the canal that ran alongside the beer garden, followed by his laptop and phone.

24. One guy called me a “mother f#$%er” because I couldn’t activate his phone on straight talk. I don’t work for straight talk. I said, “get out,” and pointed toward the door. He wouldn’t leave so I had to walk him out. Then he said he should punch me in the face. I told him to try it. He didn’t. If you’re too stupid to realize what store you’re in, you shouldn’t be allowed in public.

25. My manager had a guy come in and say, “I’d like to know how you’d taste.” She told him to get out right away, he throws a tantrum about how she can’t do that and freedom of speech blah blah. Security escorted him out of the mall and he was banned

26. I worked in a bakery decorating cakes. There were 2 decorators- me and a Muslim girl. One day a lady came in and wanted a cake decorated. I was already working on two cakes so my coworker was going to do it. The woman FLIPPED OUT and said that she would never let a Muslim touch her cake, and she begged me to do it. Now, I’m the most timid person ever, but I told her to “Get the fuck out”, and it felt so good.

27. I was counting my till and a customer waiting in line for the other register started laughing and saying random numbers rapid fire to mess up my count. She succeeded.

This was like a mid-40s lady. I sighed and looked at her and said, “What are we, five?” and then took my till around the corner to start again.

Seriously rage inducing. Like, why would you do that? It’s just being a total jerk. No redeeming humor value at all.

28. I work in a cinema in the uk. Got called out to check a kids age as they didn’t look old enough for a 15 rated film. Straight away parents are on edge. Parents are the worst for ID checks. They’ll swear the sky is purple to get their precious kid into fucking Deadpool.

“Well he does look young, has he ID”

“Do you want to see his dick”

“Why would you say that?!?!” Was my first reaction.

No sir. I don’t want to see your kids dick even if he is fifteen. I asked him and his entire family to leave. He came back and apologised.

29. Had a customer tell me I was a lazy piece of shit because I wouldn’t grab his wife a flat cart. I was with another customer. He told me they were there to drop $400 on a lawnmower. I laughed and said let me know when you plan on filling a trailer and dropping $20 grand.

30. I used to work at a gas station. My first shift, this large man comes in and starts yelling for some reason and my manager on duty ejects him from the store and the man is hollering that he’s never gonna buy gas from the company again. A different time, this small lady was mad that we wouldn’t accept a return with out a receipt (theft was a major problem and the company wouldn’t accept returns without a receipt over $10 when it used to be $25). So this lady decided to grab the register and throw it at us working at the counter. Police got involved in that one.

31. I work at a movie theater. There were 4 preteen boys who were causing trouble. Sneaking into movies, one wouldn’t put a shirt on, and they took an empty popcorn container and went to me for a refill as I was closing the popcorn counter. They had been asked to leave multiple times.

“Give me a refill.”

“I’m not giving you a refill tonight.”

“Why not?”

“You were asked to leave here already. I’m not going to give you any popcorn.”

“Just give me the popcorn.”

“No.”

He looked at me and chucked the popcorn container at me.

I looked at him and screamed in my most convincing angry mom voice, “don’t throw things at me and get out of here right now!”

It got the attention of the other manager who was able to call security to escort them out.

32. About a yearish ago I had a guy brag about how much money he had before casually mentioning that he could rape me if he wanted to…

He proved he had money by showing me he had 1k in his checking, and basically wanted me to promise sex for business.

33. Colleague was cleaning the front of the fish tanks (pet shop) and one of them had this wierd stuff on it that smeared as she wiped it. Asked me what the hell is this. It wasn’t there when I was catching fish about 10 minutes ago… I have this awful realisation… I go check check the cctv and sure enough I see what I knew I would see, even though I was really hoping not to. A guy jacking it. Onto the fish tank.

W. T. F.

I recognized him as he was hanging around earlier. Worse, I had to clean this up myself as no way did my young minimum wage colleague deserve to deal with that!!Needless to say next time he showed his face, I banned him from the store right there and then. My voice was a little loud.

…shudder…

34. I had a customer threaten to call the cops because I wouldn’t give them 50% off of a CHARITY bear on boxing day. 100% of the proceeds from these teddy bears went to the Make A Wish foundation and they were only $15. The store had a 50% off everything sale for boxing day, but it didn’t include the CHARITY bears. I add capitals because it’s a charity bear…it’s purpose is right in the name!

I basically just kept saying “ma’am…it’s a charity bear…” because I didn’t know how else to explain that the point of the bear was to raise money…that seemed…obvious. People in line were starting to get really upset with her and she just started to freak right out and was starting to dial 911. My boss, so upset (she lost a son early in life to cancer so make a wish was important to her) just gave her a bear and told her to never come back. A bunch of familiar customers of ours were so upset they pitched in the $15 without us even saying anything which was super kind of them. It was a restoration of faith in humanity, but what a nightmare for no reason. Especially on boxing day!

35. Cell phone and entertainment business here:

I’m use to having people verbally take their frustrations out on me, as if I’m the direct reason for their inconvenience. That’s not even a problem anymore. What is a problem is this incident:

Customer “and [the company] can suck my dick!”

Me “I’m sorry you feel that way, sir.”

Customer “no really, they can suck my dick.”

proceeds to unzip his pants

Me “sir please do not—“

dick comes out

Me “great, now I have to call the cops.”

Customer repeating “suck my dick [the company]” over and over again.

The cops show up and now the guy is a registered offender.

The problem that caused all of this? He apparently wasn’t informed of an activation fee for upgrading his cell phone. A $30 fee just caused you to have a rough rest of your existence. Congrats? Some people’s kids…

36. A guy whipped his dick out at the till. Got his license plate number and called the police and they ended up arresting him.

37. This was over the phone, the customer was unhappy with their purchase so I sent another one out to them in case it was defective. He calls me later that week saying the new one had the same problem and he would get violent if it wasn’t solved. He was in his 80’s but I said you know what we will come pick it up, and you can buy from somewhere else. Not worth the hassle for a little commission.

38. I work in a Dutch 24/7 gas station. This German kid (20-25 yo) came in the shop drunk (while driving). Looked for beer (which we are not allowed to sell), and got all mad that I hid the beers. He wanted to start a fight and he wanted to drive off in his car.

That was impossible since I locked the door and alerted the cops. He lost his drives license and got a huge fine, which he had to pay instantly. What an asshole.

39. Guy seated in the freezer of Traders Joe’s pants down staring at a fresh turd he just laid in the middle of the aisle.

40. Had a toy collector bully a child for the last popular children’s toy we had in stock.

Like dude, we aren’t the only toy store here and yelling at a 7 year old for a toy makes you look bad in any accounts.

Banned him from our store and he keeps coming back.