1. Needlessly playing hard to get, as if it’s some weird rule in a game. If you like someone or enjoyed spending time together (or even if you didn’t), be clear about it. It’s really that simple.
2. Never suggesting plans or counter-offers when a plan doesn’t work for you.
“Hey, want to get dinner on Friday?”
“No, I am busy, how about Saturday?”
Otherwise, I’m just going to assume you’re not that interested in going out with me. So, if you are interested, please make a counter-offer or just suggest something you think would be fun to do next time we go out.
3. Assuming the worst.
Communication is an imprecise art. Any given sentence can probably be interpreted in 5 different ways. I see many women who automatically assume that, of those 5 ways, he must have meant the one that is the worst.
When we started dating, I told my wife “If I say something and it can be taken two ways, and one of those ways makes you upset, trust me, I meant the other one. I’d never say anything to hurt you.”
4. Not having a life outside of your SO. It’s healthy to have different groups of friends and different hobbies so don’t forget who and what made you happy before you were in a relationship.
5. Girls, don’t be the type to threaten to end the relationship through a petty ultimatum. I guarantee you that if you hit the average male with a “It’s either me or the video games!” you’re gonna be disappointed by his choice.
6. Telling friends/coworkers only about the shitty things their boyfriends do then asking for advice and being shocked when they’re told “he seems abusive dump him” not only shocked but then actively angry that people would “misread” the situation.
The thing is if you want good advice a girl needs to include good things he does, bad things she does, good things she does. If people only know that he constantly shirks helping with the laundry but don’t know he’s working 12 hour days while she’s working 5 hour days then their advice is going to be based on the impression that he’s a lazy asshole that makes her do everything.
7. Playing dumb. Intelligence is desirable, stop acting dumb trying to be cute.
8. Thinking that when we are a couple our behaviors will change. Or when we get married we will stop playing video games or hanging out with the guys. Nope, the dynamic we have when dating… it will continue.
9. Making everything a guessing game.
I’m not a mind reader, god damnit.
10. The “Sunk Cost Fallacy” I’ve known quite a few women who seem to be pretty unhappy and unfulfilled in their relationships but were unwilling to leave. Why?
“We have so much history together. I can’t just walk away after all the time I’ve put in to this relationship. I need to make it work!”
11. This goes for men and women (and those who lieth betwixt) I guess but I watched my sister date a depressed guy for a year. She put so much time and energy into him, then he just dumped her out of the blue before begging her to take him back a week later. She still has trust issues because of it.
Don’t try to “fix” someone, just find someone who is emotionally stable.
12. The classic silent treatment.
“What did I do wrong?”
“Well if you don’t know, I’m not gonna tell you.”
13. Going back to guys who cheat. If he did it once he will probably do it again. Plus the fact that it’s a risk for disease. Zero tolerance for cheaters, from anyone. I think a lot of women are sweet and want to be forgiving but this isn’t the time.
14. “Well, my last boyfriend ___________ (got mad when he got lost driving, stole my money, hit me, drank too much, cheated on me, the list goes on) so you will probably be doing the same.” I am a whole different guy than that loser so don’t project that on me.
15. Dating guys that they have to mother. If you find yourself helping with his laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. without him doing the same for you, or especially if you live together if you find yourself always “nagging” him about completely reasonable things, and he acts like it’s your job to make sure he knows what needs to be done around the house- he’s not boyfriend material, and he sure as hell isn’t husband or father material.
16. Go to social media to complain about they SO. before talking to their SO.
17. Not being true to themselves. Trying to be someone they are not or being that someone they think the guy/girl they like would fall far. If someone does not like for what you are, don’t be with that person. Period.
18. Keeping important things from your partner
I’ve had a couple of relationships where at some point the girl just keeps important things that bother her to herself because she “doesn’t want me to worry” or “stress out more than I already (presumably, because of AP) am”
I prefer to know everything about my partners.
I don’t know if this is universal, so I’ll just say: Always communicate. As my official answer. Always tell why you are mad. Express you’re hurt instead of angry.
19. Having a problem with something but not saying anything about it for days until it finally blows up, and then flipping the fuck out for it being this huge issue that, had she said something when it started to bother her, wouldn’t have been anything but a brief conversation, apology, and resolution.
Seriously. Even if you can’t explicitly say why ladies, tell your partner so you can try working it out before it explodes. Much better to fumble for the fix instead of letting something break.
20. Thinking that because I (a male) don’t feel like having sex means I think they (a female) aren’t attractive. Sometimes I’m just fucking tired, or I have indigestion.
21. Stop sending me one to two word text. I’m not carrying a conversation by myself!
22. Refusing to lose an argument. Yes, you can win the argument by baiting a guy into raising his voice and then crying inconsolably because he “yelled” at you. But should you?
23. Telling her friends everything that happens…nothing good can come of it really.
24. Passive aggression, and making everything your fault. Like if she does something really stupid like leaving the back door unlocked so a junkie comes and steals your £2k laptop, and when you tell her off she goes into hysterics crying until you have to apologize, and somehow you’re missing your most expensive possession & yet you’re the asshole. Great.
25. Telling their partners they are okay with something when they aren’t.
I personally take things at face value. I say what I mean and I don’t read between the lines very well. So when a simple ‘yes’ to ‘can I go out with my friends tonight?’ turns into a 3 hour argument the day after, that’s a problem. I see this with almost every relationship I know, first and second hand.
26. Women who think they’ve hit the jackpot by stealing some other girl’s man. If he’ll cheat with you, he’ll cheat on you. It’s just a matter of time.
27. Having the “PERFECT RELATIONSHIP” fantasy, and the unspoken metric by which they judge a relation., and being upset when someone fails to meet the metrics they never expressed.
28. My SO never apologizes for anything. She is “flawless”. It’s her worst trait.
29. You don’t know your own value.
This might be one of the most common areas where I work with my female clients. Do you chase after the bad boys who treat you poorly and only want them more? Are you attracted to all the unavailable guys? Are you afraid to ask for what you want? Do you put up with nonsense expecting that “one day” it will magically change? If so, welcome to the club — you are far from alone. You, my dear, do not know your value. The truth is that there are only two fears in the human condition: one is that you’re “not enough,” and two is that you won’t be loved. Let’s be clear: this will keep you single until it changes.
30. Talking to several guys with the intention of dating in case one doesn’t work out. If you’re not going to at least try to make it work then you probably shouldn’t be speaking with them like that.
31. Seeking the advice of other women to explain to them how men think and behave. 99% of the time they have no idea what they are talking about.
32. Stop babying me all the time. Don’t get me wrong I love and appreciate being pampered from time to time. But I don’t need to be infantilized and watched out for constantly. Im an adult.
33. Looking for a guy that will impress her friends. If the friends aren’t envious, she sees him as unfit to be in a relationship with.
34. Thinking that a relationship will solve their life’s problems.
35. Excessive self-deprecation.
I think women think it’s a way of being humble or submissive but like I can’t tell if your self-esteem is really low or if you’re fishing for compliments.
36. I’ve dated a few girls who couldn’t cook a grilled cheese sandwich, let alone a solid meal. I’m not playing that “woman should be in the kitchen” stereotype. I can cook pretty well. It’s just a turn off. I’ve ended relationships because it.
37. Falling in love with a fantasy, and then not putting in the work on their end if something needs to be fixed, discussed, resolved, or adjusted.
38. Trying to make it work with men who obviously do not care.
39. Passive aggressive actions will get you nowhere and will make me more likely to dump you for the next woman.
40. Caring about displays of wealth instead of wealth.
Ladies, if you want a stable life, don’t date the guy who leases a BMW and rents a nice condo, but owns nothing. He is spending every penny he makes. Date a guy who drives a paid off car and doesn’t display his wealth.
41. Worrying about being right for the guy rather than figuring out if the guy is the right one.
42. Can’t stand these relationships where its considered normal for the girl to act like a psycho. These memes i see about stabbing your bf because he looked at another girl.
43. Not meeting us halfway. Just a little bit of effort would be nice.
44. Putting your SO on trial by fire when someone else is hitting on them.
45. Not leaving enough time between relationships to have some single time and find themselves. Just give it a month or two, and you can recharge and find more hobbies
46. Playing mind games. Stop being stupid, stop being petty, the dude isn’t going to pick up your signals, your tests, whatever. Tell him you have a problem and what steps you want him to take, preferably without getting out emotional spelunking equipment.
47. Not being yourself, not being open, not being a friend first. I dated a number of women who hid stuff until we slept together and then dumped it on me. That was a drag and it seems really manipulative to me.
48. A lot of them don’t really bother complimenting their guy and it sucks ass.
49. Not giving your bf space. I can understand wanting to be with that person, but everyone needs alone time, whether it be a little or a lot. Not saying you shouldn’t spend time together, but every now and again when he gets in front of the console and/or goes hanging with the boys, let him be (provided he’s not doing anything too stupid). A couple hours apart won’t kill you. But my fellow guys, also make sure to spend time with your gf, it’s a team effort.
50. Not telling us what’s wrong. It’s a cliché, but it is so true. Like just tell me.