50 Ways To Deal With Your Loneliness Besides Swiping Through Tinder And Crying Yourself To Sleep
Self-Improvement

50 Ways To Deal With Your Loneliness Besides Swiping Through Tinder And Crying Yourself To Sleep

When you find yourself feeling lonely, Ask Reddit can help you cope.

1. I hang out with myself! I go to events alone, I go on little adventures around the city alone, I try to try a new restaurant once or twice a month and get dressed up for the occasion. I’m only 19 years old so it kind of bums me out that I don’t have friends but I’m starting to really like being alone, I think part of being ok with being alone is enjoying your own company.

2. I used to be lonely. But once I learned to forgive and love myself, I decided to get something for my place that I thought was really beautiful, to really liven up my apartment. It was relaxing and gave off a cozy atmosphere. After a while I ended up not only happy with who and where I was in life but I had an apartment that was a joy to come home and walk into. It made being there alone much much much better. I didn’t dread going home alone anymore. I was excited to go home and lay on my beautiful comfy couch and light my wonderfully scented new candles! Stuff like that. Then a boyfriend popped up when I least suspected it. Probably because I’d quit looking for it and gained some confidence.

3. I realize that even if nobody wants to be my friend, I can be my own friend. I learned a lot of cool things about myself through being lonely.

4. You learn to thrive on it. If you’re lonely that means you can do whatever you want whenever you want, so just pick something that interests you and dive into it.

5. I talk to my dogs, as crazy as that sounds. I can’t get out of the house much due to my health so they’re as close to human interaction as I can get.

6. I’m always trying to learn more things. It transforms the discontent of loneliness into the solace of solitude.

7. It only bothers me when I think about it. I know that periods where I’m actually around friends, I feel a lot better, but life isn’t that bad without them around, either. Most of my close friends live away from me, so it’s like stepping into a magical fairytale world for me when they visit for a weekend, or I go out to visit one of them. But I know that’s not how our friendship would feel if we lived in the same city; we get the privilege of this blissful time because it is so scarce. The rest of the time, I often wish I had more people around, but books can help with that. The rest of my time I put into hobbies and things that generally fall under “improving myself”, although I’m not really interested in the general self-improvement fad stuff. I’ve started barbell training (SS) in the past few months and it requires a lot of effort for me both in the gym and out, so I don’t mind if all my free time is spent eating, watching videos on YouTube, and sleeping. The only thing I think about when I wake up and when I go to bed now is how many pounds I can load on my back, crouch down, and get back up with. It doesn’t mean much, ultimately, but I feel good about the progress, and the points have substantially more worth than in video games (one of my other main passtimes).

Basically, think about why you’re “lonely” instead of just “alone”. A lot of it is a matter of perspective. I’m lonely when I’m around people, most of the time. I think what people really want is that contented feeling in their heart, and many people get it from relationships. But not everyone does, and some people do but can also find it elsewhere. I wouldn’t assume that finding people to hang around will improve your loneliness substantially. You may still feel empty and alone even with people around you.

I really think that if you are lonely alone, you will probably be lonely together… this has definitely been the case for me, at the very least. That doesn’t mean, though, that there aren’t issues that are making you feel worse with people than you should, even if you feel fine alone (don’t assume the inverse). Just because you feel fine alone doesn’t mean you’re not lonely around other people — you could have social issues that make it hard to relate or communicate with other people. Those may require a lot more specific attention to address and I’m definitely not the person to help someone with that.

8. Books. Nothing like good book to take your mind off the loneliness.

9. I remind myself often that I would rather come to terms with my loneliness and learn to enjoy it instead of filling that empty void with another human being.

10. Constantly reminding myself that the only person that the only person that I can always rely on to make myself feel better is myself.

11. I try my best to distract myself by diving into super complex or involved movies, books, tv shows, video games, etc. to take my mind off of it.

When I want somebody to talk to I go on reddit. You can usually find somebody wanting to talk.

12. Focus on hobbies. Take an interest in your future and focus on bettering yourself. I have a small group of friends who are a little far away, but they know I need my space. I embrace the solitude but try to push myself to be social.

13. I never even think about being lonely. I actually really love it. I mean I do see people on occasion and at work but I’m most happy alone. I like to work on myself, listen to music, do my own thing before going out again. There needs to be a balance. It made me very confident being myself and if anything I enjoy socializing even more because I’m myself and not the product of non-stop social drama. I’m calm and patient, I don’t care for he said she said bullshit and people seem attracted by that. I give great advice and people feel less anxious around me. You must find a balance of being alone and social. Too much of either is bad. I can always tell the ones who live for social attention. They are always uncomfortable, anxious and only talk about people instead of ideas. These people are scared to be left alone and it baffles me. Like I said, you have to find a balance that works for you. Avoid either extreme.

14. I try to immerse myself in things that interest me. And I stay in touch with the very few people I do have in my life. It’s bittersweet to think about the past. But that’s life.

15. Social media but don’t follow anyone you actually know in real life. Follow a bunch of uplifting accounts.

16. Watch Netflix, cook yummy things, study, read, basically keep myself occupied rather than moping around.

17. I comfort myself with the notion that in the end, no one can entertain me as well as I can.

18. Sometimes when I get the feels, I remind myself its perfectly fine to feel that way, and its fine to be alone. Then I find something to do, whether I build something like a raised bed for my garden or a doghouse, attempt to draw, go for a jog, play video games, shoot hoops, listen to comedy, watch YouTube, read a book, etc.

Other times, if I can’t fight it off with any of that, I’ll talk to family by text or call or go somewhere with lots of people just to people-watch and feel somewhat connected.

If that doesn’t help, ill get on dating sites and talk to my matches or at least send messages.

19. I try to avoid social media and remember that what people portray on there isn’t always how their life is.

I talk to random strangers on the internet, listen to lots and lots of music, read, laugh at memes, spend hours on reddit, watching tv shows (less nowadays), I try to go to the gym 3 times a week – keep myself in shape and build my confidence.

When uni kicks in I study really really hard and that takes my mind off the loneliness.

Most importantly though, I try not to dwell on it and rather think of all the things I still want to do and learn on my own – like learning more about myself for example or spending time re-learning the drums/piano.

20. Change the perspective. If you start feeling lonely — Flip it and reverse it. Think of the blessings you’ve been given (I’m not religious, just the best wording I can think of). What’s the problem No friends to chill out with? Well, Do you have food to eat? There’s something to be thankful for. No significant other/ spouse? Do you have a roof over your Head and somewhere to sleep? There’s something to be thankful for. No family at the holidays do you have employment? There’s something to be thankful for.

The way I see it, (and this is definitely not in meant to minimize the hardships of others in any way) is that when I’m feeling lonely, it’s because I don’t have bigger problems at the moment, and I am grateful that I don’t.

21. Multiplayer video games help a lot. Get paired with some randos and strike up a conversation. Play well enough and they’ll want to group.

22. ANIME: now you might think this is stupid and I’m just turning you into a weeb but for me, finding out the existence of anime help me a lot. I have friends but none of them are really close to me so we never hang out. Sometime I would feel like I’m being ignored or left out(maybe my fault I don’t know). But when you find something you love that does not need friends to enjoy it, then you’ll no longer feel the loneliness. Sometime you even want to be lonely.

23. Volunteering!

24. Be as busy as possible. Watch twitch streamers to “hangout” with them and chat. Play video games. Do something active. Go mountain biking or hiking.

25. I comfort myself by thinking that I’m not alone in my loneliness, and that I might meet people who are lonely too, and we won’t be lonely together.

26. I tend to clean and turn up some music.

27. I make a conscious effort to do things that make me happy. It’s surprisingly easy to just put it off.

28. Meditate.

29. I just accept it for now. I avoid things that can trigger it too.

30. I realize that Star Wars does such a great job of capturing my imagination that it makes me forget about it as I get absorbed in a new world and problems that are different from my own.

31. I’ve picked up playing D&D with groups online. It really helps. Gives me something social to look forward to at a regular time during the week, and people to talk to about it in between sessions.

32. I got a dog. 11/10 times would recommend a pet.

33. You are never alone if you love yourself.

34. Lots of porn…

35. You handle loneliness with sports, music, sleep, books, games, learning, cooking. You could find meaning in so many things in life, instead you chose to be alone and miserable. Loneliness is a choice.

36. Sometimes when I’m alone I talk to myself. Helps me think a bit better and makes me feel less empty.

37. Dog. Gym. Dog park. Books. More gym. Run. Run with dog. Work 40 hours a week.

When I was single I was reading a book a week. Gym, dog and reading really helps.

38. I work a lot. Try to travel some. Do stuff for other people. LOTS of internet.

39. When one pad starts sinking you jump to another. Make lots of friends and you will never run out of lily pads.

Always go out one day of the week with a friend/friends.

Find a hobby or activity that involves people.

40. If you are talking in terms of being alone, being at peace in your own company is a valuable “skill” to learn. You need to first accept internally that there is nothing wrong with being alone. If you are having trouble connecting with people or socializing and feel lonely because of this, try going on discord or some other voice chat enabled software and practice, get good enough to where you feel confident in face to face.

41. I like being alone. More time for myself. Might be selfish, but I need it at the moment.

42. I worked from 7am to 8pm today. Kept working through my lunch hour, just listened to music and worked on cars. Probably gonna do that tomorrow too. I do that quite a bit. On weekends I buy and work on cars then sell them.

It’s also how I work through stress among other things.

43. I think about how complicated it actually is to hang out with other people. How hard it is to come up with interesting things to say or do or talk about all the time.

That works. All the time.

44. Keep yourself occupied, hobbles, exercise, work if need be.

If in the budget and have the time for it: a cat or dog. Sometimes can help build self worth

45. I got anti depressants, and now its not so bad….i feel better about everything and so the need to fill that hole is no longer there. Honestly, its just not a good time for a girlfriend anyways.

46. I plug my guitar and make some noise!

47. Watch a horror movie before going to sleep. I’m definitely won’t be alone during that time.

48. By messaging friends, but that doesn’t compete with physical presence.

49. I suppose I deal with it by distracting myself with hobbies and whatnot, keep my mind off it, you know?

50. I used to listen to the same podcasts everyday to the point where I felt like I was chatting with my friends. I slept with headphones on, listening to the same shows over and over just so I could hear another voice in the room. TC mark

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January Nelson is a writer, editor, dreamer, and occasional exotic dancer. Her work has appeared on Facebook, ... Read more articles from January on Thought Catalog.