1. Being comfortable enough to be so, so weird / goofy together. A ton of our interactions with each other at home would be enormously embarrassing to have anyone else witness, but we have a great time!
2. Honestly? People don’t get how amazing a shared history can be. Picture a shitty phone call from your parent. You hang up, are in a complicated emotional funk.
Being married often means your spouse not only knew this was coming, they know exactly the next seven stages of emotional turmoil/calming/hilarity that will ensue and they roll with it. A good wife or husband normalizes your neurosis and keeps you on an even keel just by having been there throughout.
3. At 44 years in, the best part is comfort, feeling SO comfortable with her.
4. The team approach to every situation. “You get the table I’ll place the order” or “you get the seats I’ll get the popcorn and sodas” or “you put kid 1 to bed and I’ll take kid 2”. Plus always getting to order the best 2 things on the menu and sharing.
5. When you both get sick at the same time and you get to watch several days worth of horrible movies together while sharing one tub of vap-o-rub.
Bonus: since you’re both already sick you don’t have to worry about not sharing germs
6. Having someone else investigate the strange noise.
I get very cold at night and my husband is a human furnace. So now I don’t need 2 blankets, socks and long sleeves.
Having someone else to push the stupid cart at the grocery store.
7. Laughing because your spouse is giggling to the point of crying. My husband and I find a lot of the same things funny, but when he finds something extremely funny and can’t stop laughing it just makes me laugh too. Sometimes when we watch comedies we have to pause for laugh breaks so we don’t miss anything.
8. Scheming your way out of things. Before going to any family event, we plan how we’re going to leave early. One time I have a headache, another time he has a work engagement. What’s awesome is that his dad knows what we’re doing and has contributed some amazing dekes as well since he had a couple surgeries and “really has to go home because he’s in pain”. We all get in the car and start cackling.
9. As a woman, I would say being big spoon is very underrated. It’s much less constricting than being little spoon, it keeps your tummy warm, and of course it’s a nice way to express affection.
10. Most underrated? Being able to know someone so well and be known so well that when you suggest things to each other, you’re almost guaranteed to like them.
My husband has introduced me to so many movies, tv shows, books, musicians, podcasts, etc that I never thought I’d enjoy but I LOVE! And vice versa. It’s a big part of our relationship and I don’t hear others talk about it at all.
11. Being able to clearly communicate without using intelligible words/sentences. Over the last few years, sometimes it’s just random nosies.
12. The other person is there to pick up the slack when you can’t do it anymore. Times I’ve been too sick to cook he will grab what is needed from the store and make soup. His dad has cancer and it’s easy for him to visit his dad out of state because I can just stay here and handle things while hes gone, rather than us having to worry about finding someone to watch the house and board the dogs, which if we had to do each time it would make the visits a lot more expensive and less frequent.
It’s just nice to have someone you can count on who has your best interest at heart.
13. Having a person you can sit with and not have to talk. “Comfortable silence,” as Mrs. Mia Wallace might say.
14. Having someone that can check you on your shit, in a respectful and loving way. Do I smell weird? Is my hair fucked up? Did I say “uh” too many times when we role played for a job interview? My husband is always honest with me and I need that grounding in my life. It’s amazing.
15. Having someone who believes in you when you’re not sure you believe in yourself. I can’t even tell you how how much more confident and successful I am simply because my wife says things like: “You are amazing. You can do anything.” Even when I feel like I am not particularly good at ANYTHING.
16. Underrated: Having someone else who knows your habits so when you lose things or do something stupid, they can come to your rescue in the most efficient way possible. You do it for them too.
17. Back scratching. And, having a good excuse to bail when work asks you to stay late or come in early (or anything else anyone asks you to do that you don’t want to do): “Sure! I’m down as long as my wife is okay with it!” Then, after some time has passed ostensibly for you to call her, you just say, “Man, you know that I would totally be there, but, the wife has already made plans for us all day… Sorry!”
…That’s the most underrated part of the deal in my opinion.
18. For me, I suffer from anxiety and depression. I don’t even need to say anything to my wife. She just knows if I’m not feeling “good” and will sit and cuddle with me which 99.9% of the time changes my mood. It’s the little things, just knowing you have someone by your side to work with you through life’s challenges.
19. Underrated? Two incomes. Makes a massive difference in lifestyle, but it is mentioned far less often than the emotional aspects.
20. Being forced to make good relationship decisions because you do really love that f*cker even when they piss you off.
Something about “marriage” made me take a breath when something annoys/upsets me, and I think “is this worth being upset? Is this where I’ll damage my marriage?” and the answer is always no. Then I slap the booty and continue along with my decent life.
21. I lost my wife to cancer on Nov. 10, 5 yrs ago. I miss the hugs and just the general closeness we had. She loved PDAs. I miss the whole holding hands, she leaning on me and traveling together.
22. A very underrated part of marriage is having someone who will call you on your shit and you know they just want you to be the best person you can be.
23. In a good marriage? Having an equal to share things with. If you have the right person even the mundane things are more fun.
24. Having someone to split breakfast orders with at restaurants: No more choosing between sweet and savory, you can have it all!
25. Dominating at Pictionary.
I’m one scribble in and she’s like, “That’s a squid.”
26. Finding someone who fills in all your shortcomings, and whose shortcomings you are perfectly suited to fill.
My wife is a god damn super star at planning things. Once she’s got a vacation, or an event, or any other kind of plan in mind, she absolutely owns it from top to bottom.
However, if one little thing goes wrong, she can lose her mind and not know how to react or pivot.
On the other hand, I am terrible at planning shit. I’ll wait until two weeks before a vacation to plan it, overpay on everything, and have to settle for lesser versions of what I wanted to do because I didn’t put in the work ahead of time.
However, I’m really, really good at improvising on the spot. If dinner reservations we’ve had for months fail for whatever reason, I’m the one who can find three other spots nearby within the same price range in ten minutes.
She’s the long-term, I’m the short-term, and when our powers combine, we’re one fully-functioning adult!
27. The sex just gets better and better. Seriously. I love knowing exactly when I can flip my wife’s switch, and sex really begins in the morning when we make breakfast for our kids. A little brush on the arm here, a little booty pinch there. Some verbal ripostes…
Then once the house is quiet, we can finally start getting to the really good stuff. I love to build her up because I know her mild to extreme turn-ons. Sometimes we try new stuff! And we can laugh about it and experiment and it’s never awkward or weird.
Then we go to sleep together and wake up the next morning and start it all over again.
It’s really awesome. I was aways kind of worried that our sex life would plateau or peter out. Nope, more nights than not a week we are like two teenagers. It’s just so awesome to have someone that can keep up with you.
All that being said, marry someone with a similar libido!
28. Having someone to apply sunblock to your back–specifically, having someone who you don’t mind touching your back available to do so.
29. Shared hatred. Hating the same people, hating the same places, hating the same foods, hating the same activities. Some families try to be picture perfect all the time while my wife and I just sit around petty as hell 24/7.
30. My wife cares for me even when I don’t think to care for myself. If I mention I feel tired and haven’t been sleeping well she gets me melatonin gummies and encourages me to sleep better.
She thinks of ways to better my life without me realizing
31. Being able to say “my wife” sounds way better than saying “my girlfriend.”
32. Being able to tell them “you fucked up but I still love you” and knowing they, like you, are in it for the long haul and want you to be happy as much as you want them to be happy.
33. When you’re at family weddings you’re invited into the family pictures, instead of awkwardly being told to sit out – just in case you may not be together next year.
34. Having someone to bring energy into the home. My husband is currently away on business and the house just feels so stagnant without him. I found myself missing all the things that usually annoy me; how he’s always clamoring around and singing and talking to himself in the background.
35. Binging Netflix shows the whole day with the fireplace going and sipping on macallan and then eventually taking a sex break and ordering sushi for delivery…
Can’t wait to come home
36. Travel. And having traveled together. I’m sure journeys are very enjoyable even by yourself, but having someone else with whom you share the experiences, the wow moments, the beautiful vistas, the unique experiences, the museums, the architecture– it makes it richer for both of you.
37. Someone to do the dirty work you can’t deal with. My husband can’t handle vomit, so when dogs or kids inevitably spew vomit everywhere I’ve got that. On the other hand, one day we found a mouse in our bed and I fled screaming and crying (I was pregnant and a bit emotionally charged). My husband dealt with the mice and clean up (and fixed the whole they got in from).
38. Snuggles. Words cannot do justice being able to cuddle up to my partner and knowing she’ll make this ‘relaxed’ murmur sound even when she’s dead asleep. I wouldn’t give it up for the world. I hate sleeping alone now. SHE’S RUINED ME!
39. The inside jokes.
40. I am genuinely going to live longer because my wife makes me go to the doctor when I’m sick.
I am terrified of doctors and really hate the expense, so on my own I put it off as long as possible or just don’t go. But my wife won’t take no for an answer; she doesn’t hesitate to step in and insist that it is goddamn PAST time I see someone about something. And — just as good — she always offers to come with me when I go. I don’t always take her up on it, but she always offers and that alone makes me feel better/braver.
I know there are stats floating around about how married men live longer, possibly partly for this reason. While I am not a man, I can 110% vouch that having a wife can measurably increase one’s life span.
So that’s my underrated thought — increases lifespan.
41. Sometimes if your cat is cuddled up on your lap but you need something from another room, you can ask your spouse to get it for you without having to disturb your comfy cozy cat.
42. Having a best friend to grow old with and always having someone there for emotional support
43. Tag-team embarrassing your kids. “Hey, honey, let’s wear our matching Disney t-shirts out to dinner tonight!”
44. Seeing your SO grow as a person.
45. Having someone who you feel no shame with. I just washed my wife’s whole body CNA style after a major surgery. We laughed the entire time, especially when I cleaned her crack. Good times.
46. When one of you doesn’t have your shit together (sick, really stressed, lost a loved one), the other picks up the slack and keeps you sane.
It’s teamwork in general. It’s basically doing life on easy mode if you choose the right partner.
47. Not having to date around anymore!
48. Becoming so codependent on someone you don’t remember how to sleep alone anymore. I don’t know why I like it so much, it might sound weird. But there’s just something about being so permanently tied with someone. They become such a part of you, You can’t imagine it any other way. And when one is out of town, or working a lot, or whatever, you realize how much you’ve grown to rely on them and the rush of gratitude and intimacy you feel is uniquely satisfying. I always think of that scene in 500 days of summer when the friend is talking about his wife and says “No, she’s not the woman of my dreams. She’s better, cause she’s real.” Hits home. I’m gonna go hug my wife now.
49. When you both make the same stupid pun at the same time and laugh like fools. Also playing video/board games together.
50. The little things. I LOSE things like crazy so when we are at the airport, I just hand over any paper to him AND HE TAKES IT. Get this, he then knows to do something with it so I don’t have to.
When we’re shopping, he carries my bags without asking. (I’ve had medical issues and get dizzy at times.) If I go outside to take the trash and it just is too long, he comes right out looking for me (again because medical reasons but I’m usually chatting with the neighbor.
When his check engine light comes on, I just take care of it because he doesn’t speak car.
It’s amazing if you stop and list the things.