Thought Catalog

Worst Things To Do On The Internet While Drinking

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1. Hate-reading. Drunk hate-reading leads to drunk hate-commenting leads to a tainted Disqus profile and a healthy dose of self loathing.

2. Facebook stalking your crush and accidentally ‘liking’/commenting on something from 9+ months ago.

3. Answering your mother’s email. Do not answer your mother’s email.

4. Looking at an ex’s OKCupid profile when you don’t have ‘browse anonymously’ set.

5. Taking Photobooth pictures of yourself holding a big-ass glass/bottle of wine, which is never as cute as we imagine it to be.

6. Tweeting questions you mean to Google like “why are horses scary?” and “what if this mole is getting bigger???”

7. Listening to embarrassing music on Spotify for all the world to see.

8. Reblogging something on Tumblr from someone you creep instead of the source.

9. Sending fan mail to people who are only marginally more successful than you are and who will never, ever have respect for you, after this.

10. Making a Dashboard lyric your Facebook status.

11. Shopping for clothes when you have no freaking idea what size you are anymore.

12. Accepting all of the friend requests you’d purposely left pending because they included estranged family members and the dude you went on one OKCupid date with in 2009.

13. Hitting ‘send all’ on your Twitter drafts.

14. Re-following or friend requesting your ex because you’re ~oVeR tHe dRaMa~ now.

15. Work. Don’t do work. Don’t email your clients mock-ups, don’t create an extra-curricular Powerpoint for bonus points, don’t open that Google Doc spreadsheet just… don’t.

16. Getting into a YouTube comment war over the merits of Dru Hill’s “In My Bed.”

17. Passive aggressively liking the Tumblr posts of the person who’s banging your ex, just to let them know you’re watching.

18. Commenting on everything that pops up in your Facebook newsfeed, even the vacation photos posted by that kid from high school who lost half of his frontal lobe in a car accident three years ago and definitely, definitely doesn’t know who you are.

19. Emailing your boss to ask for a raise. TC mark

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  • Bark Muckerzerg

    It’s like we never left junior high, eh?

  • lars


  • Amrita Tapadia

    #2 – sucks

  • Amanda

    This is hysterical. Thank you!

  • Gemma (@Gezabean)

    It’s like you see my soul.

  • Dasha

    #3 what’s the deal with everyone ignoring their parents?

    • Maaaaaaaaaac

      I have the same question.

  • archana

    LOL but seriously this list shows you can’t even go on the internet drunk anymore unless its porn… even then there might be a “LIKE/SHARE ON FB” button on the side that you accidentally/drunkenly click. its like walking through a minefield.

    • Melysa Martinez

      I log off FB before I watch porn, lest I accidentally click something or am tracked. lol

      • diana salier (@dianasalier)

        worddd to this
        maybe i should not be logged in on Disqus when i say word to this

  • Lothar

    20. Getting within ten feet of anything with a screen and keyboard. (Have someone tape your hands together, just in case you “get a notion.”)

  • Melysa Martinez

    #9 sounds way petty. The truth is: “No one’s ever getting enough of those kinds of emails.” If that’s how someone reacts, then they’re dicks. The world needs more love, not dicks disrespecting someone kind.

  • mailymail1
  • lorena

    ok, but what should we do on internet while drinking?

  • youcouldbehappy

    am i the only one who never knew that you could “browse anonymously” on okcupid?

  • twentysomethingconfessions

    guilty of a few….oops

  • Aslan

    I fb chatted Ryan O’Connell one time while drunk to tell him how much I loved him (I have no idea why he accepts random people but at least I can creep him, rite?) and I don’t think he respects me.

  • diana salier (@dianasalier)

    i died at #6

  • Crystal

    Am I the only one that expected Chatroulette/webcamming to be on this list? Past experiences say it should be.

  • k

    totes guilty of #18

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  • Shatha_A

    Unfortunately, the last point sometimes works for the best.
    That was fun to read and a helpful guide as well lol

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