Getting Someone To Fall In Love With You

How do you get someone to fall in love with you? Do you “like” their Facebook statuses? Not too much, of course, because that would seem desperate. But a little bit, sparingly, so they know that you like the things that come out of their brain. Perhaps you can even leave the occasional comment on their Facebook wall so they remember you, they remember that they should love you.

Do you wear a flattering outfit when you go to meet them for coffee? That way you can remind them that you’re someone worth seeing naked. (It’s all an illusion anyway. How you look naked is completely different from how you look clothed but at that point, a naked body is a naked body. You can always just turn the lights off.) Do I rub your knee unnecessarily like Cosmopolitan once told me to do? Will that turn you on? If you were on the fence about loving me back, would a good knee rub be the thing that pulls you on to my side of the fence?

Do I text you? Do I DM you? Do I tweet @ you? Do I DARE call you? You’ve called me a few times in the past and I remember feeling so shocked and delighted when I saw your name on the screen. I thought to myself, “This man has balls! He must really like me!” And you do. You do like me. That I know for certain. But I’m not interested in just “like.” I’m interested in getting you to love me. I’m interested in breaking through to you and making you realize that I’m the one you want. I’m the missing puzzle piece.

There are so many games you can play. Just thinking about the self-imposed rules of dating in our generation is enough to make me weep. Can’t I just go up to you and be like, “Hi. I really like you. I feel like I could possibly love you. Do you feel similarly? Blink once for yes and twice for no.” Wouldn’t it be so much faster if I cut the crap and just spoke the truth? Why do I have to let my phone and the internet and the advice from my friends dictate the pace? If I texted you four times in one day, would that really be such an error that you would be turned off of me forever? Is this how fickle our feelings have become for one another, where one false move could be enough to end something that’s potentially great?

I guess it is.

So fine. I will do the right things, wear nice clothes, and say the correct words. And then when I get you, I’ll deflate and show you the real me. Gotcha! Now I’m going to text you with reckless abandon. I’m not going to give a sh-t about rubbing your damn knee. I’m going to don sweatpants. YOU WILL SEE MY ASS IN SWEATPANTS. WHAT A GIFT! Because you’re mine now and I’m yours and I can stop worrying every single second of every day whether or not I’m ever going to have you.

For the record, I don’t care if you call or text me. I won’t dock you points for using emoticons or telling me that your favorite band is The Fray. Why would I care? I’m not falling in love with your texting skills or music tastes. I’m falling in love with YOU. Only you. So you don’t have to play games (please don’t actually).

Be kind. Be open-minded. Give me a chance. Give me your love.TC Mark

More From Thought Catalog

  • Bob

    My favorite band is The Fray…

    • Olive

      Don’t lie

  • http://twitter.com/jyames James Morey (@jyames)

    I don’t want to be the first person to say “oh yes this is relevant at the moment however did you know,” so, ah, should I settle for asking you a mundane question?

  • http://twitter.com/brooklyknight David Trahan (@brooklyknight)

    “I’m not falling in love with your texting skills or music tastes. I’m falling in love with YOU. Only you. So you don’t have to play games ”

    AMEN! Too many people place too much importance on all that texting and shit. Get to know the person!

  • http://twitter.com/dietblonde Elizabeth (@dietblonde)

    “If I texted you four times in one day, would that really be such an error that you would be turned off of me forever? Is this how fickle our feelings have become for one another, where one false move could be enough to end something that’s potentially great?”

    Yes, so true! we have gotten so critical that we want to immediately cut off anyone who shows us too much attention. What is wrong with us all? so much pressure! we have to constantly say the right thing and not do too much of a good thing or the whole thing goes up in flames.

    • Jessica

      I actually have had better luck with the guys that text me “too much.” It means I can trust that they do like me. If I have to worry about whether it’s okay to send a text or if I’m doing it too much, it’s probably a sign that it’s not meant to be.

  • http://www.itmakesmestronger.com/2012/07/getting-someone-to-fall-in-love-with-you-2/ Only L<3Ve @ ItMakesMeStronger.com

    […] Thought Catalog » Love & Sex Add a comment […]

  • Nick

    I’ve taken to sayings things as they are and straight up telling someone if I really like them. If they’re right for me and feel the same, I know very quickly! If they decide to play games, the “are they right for me” question answers itself. One success and a lot of failures later, I ‘think’ it’s the right approach…

  • Christina

    :)

  • you know when you've been hooking up for a long time and want to say "I love you" but you've only been officially dating for less than a month?

    If I send someone this article, will it make them fall in love with me? Could it help my chances? Or will they only fall in love with you?

  • http://www.facebook.com/summer.gillen Summer Gillen

    This was so nice to read. Thank you so much. I’m crying now, but thank you anyway.

  • igolightly

    Reblogged this on Quarter Life Crisis News and commented:
    Dating has always been too complicated, and I feel all the extra gadgets we have in this decade just make it MORE complicated. I think of a 30 Rock quote where Liz (Tina Fey) says “Wow, there’s so many devices now for guys to ignore you on.” Replace guys with girls, if that’s your preference, and voila, you get the problem of our generation.

  • http://twitter.com/mitzyredmango Mitzy (@mitzyredmango)

    ” I’m not falling in love with your texting skills or music tastes. I’m falling in love with YOU. Only you.” These are beautiful sentences.

    • http://twitter.com/yesjessica Jessica Thompson (@yesjessica)

      I was going to paste the same quote! It’s fantastic.

  • HiIMissYou

    I can totally relate to this article. SO SO SAD :(

  • Helen

    This is like holding a mirror up to my life

  • Sam

    I just love this so much though

  • http://www.beautythatsurrounds.blogspot.com Erica

    Simply perfect :)

  • tiff

    honest and oh so relevant.

  • angelusgutmann

    very beautiful. The whole world should just make a quiet consensus of reaching this point :)

  • http://turschwellenangst.wordpress.com turschwellenangst

    Reblogged this on turschwellenangst and commented:
    YOU WILL SEE MY ASS IN SWEATPANTS. WHAT A GIFT!
    So honest and relevant.

  • yikesireadthissitetoomuch

    So this means that it is going well with the guy that you want to “wife” up from your last article, yes?

  • cy

    i love this so much, right after i read the first two lines. i always try convincing myself that i DO like those posts, when i felt that i might be a little too active on his posts……

  • blackbird

    This is the most irritating thought I constantly have. But I never wanted to think about. Ever. Fuck this shit.

  • shathahijazi

    “I’m not falling in love with your texting skills or music tastes. I’m falling in love with YOU. Only you. So you don’t have to play games (please don’t actually)”

    January is and always will remain my favorite TC author…amazing, loved it <3

  • http://ofcourse.tumblr.com fere

    Texting I don’t care… but music? is kinda important sometimes… like, what you hear often is how you think, right? Unless your partying and just trying to have some fun.

    • http://ofcourse.tumblr.com fere

      OK, maybe I don’t care… :(

      • Erin

        hahah, I agree, common interests are still somewhat important. What would you do with a person who shares no interests right?

  • http://micapediadaily.wordpress.com/2012/07/10/why-2/ WHY « Micapedia Daily
  • CHRISTINE

    January, this is probably my favorite thing I’ve read on TC. So beautiful I was brought to tears. It’s like holding up a mirror to my thoughts. Well done!

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