25 Things I’m Ashamed I Care About

  1. Whether Ron and Sam are currently together.
  2. $1 off on Easy-mac/ Gushers/ Shark Bites/ Capri Sun.
  3. Whether my high school prom queen has a boyfriend.
  4. Whether my high school boyfriend has a boyfriend.
  5. The f-cking awesome vacation you took that week while I was at work, eating canned soup so I could put a pathetic $50 toward my student loan interest payments.
  6. Who has looked at my LinkedIn profile.  
  7. That your script “got a producer.”  What does that even mean?
  8. My ex-boyfriend’s fiances wedding ring.
  9. Brunch plans.
  10. Where you got your Adderall.  
  11. The Winklevii.  
  12. Your inane Twitter page / Klout score / Foursquare mayoral appointments.
  13. The Justin Bieber concert coming to town in July.
  14. That Lena Dunham is younger than me.  
  15. That you understand what buying stocks is.  
  16. Your humble-brag online Facebook personality. 
  17. The haircut I just got, which is a cross between Johann Sebastian Bach and the Super Mario character, Toad.
  18. Every outfit Kate Middleton has ever worn.  
  19. The perfect ass of the girl in my ballet-fit class.  
  20. The Buddha.  
  21. Where are they now: every Saved By the Bell member.  
  22. Whether you think I’m cool or not, you being anyone on the planet.  
  23. My GPA, in comparison with yours.
  24. My salary, in comparison with yours.  
  25. Pop psychology. TC mark

 

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image – Clueless

More From Thought Catalog

  • Lila

    perfect! ahaha

  • Nishant

    I feel bad for how messed up your mind is, if all of this is really true.

    • guest

       token response to every thought catalog article.

      • Melissa

        *token dick response to every thought catalog article.

  • summar

    my life.

  • Guest

    Hilarious! Everyone has quirks and it’s NOT BAD to care about silly things. It’s what makes us human. 

  • A.

     why be ashamed of the adderall i don’t get it i always wonder that

  • http://twitter.com/karriscari Karrington

    I’m trying to contemplate if I should be ashamed of #13 as well. But then again I’m not because I’m steady trying to find someone to go with me. Haha.

    • Lizelfman

      I’ll go with you!  Haaa…. Sorry I’m not sorry.

  • http://twitter.com/robwoh Robert Wohner

    I honestly couldn’t relate to 24 of these. But #1 is so spot on I feel like I have purpose in my day again. Thank you for this. 

    • Guest

      DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THEIR STORY IS? I’M DYIN’ OVA HEA.

  • Guestard

    The Winklevii. Although I care more about Armie Hammer

    • Lizelfman

      Oh my God, agree.

  • Sarvesh T

    It’s the Buddha, not the Bhudda. Good talk.

  • Jessica

    lisa turtle looks so scary now!! :(

  • samantha

    So glad I don’t give a shit about any of these things.

  • MP90909

    STAP IT, RAHN.

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