all I’ve done is cry
my muscles have left me
my strength has taken its pants off
and is wearing a soft robe
taking a bath
reading a newspaper
“you’ll be fine”
“just be there”
“on the floor?”
“will I ever stand?”
“of course you’ll stand
you can only cry for so long
there cannot only be tears in your heart
just as there cannot only be joy”
“I’m so tired of choosing these ones”
“I know, love” strength says softly
he gets out of the bath
and pats over in his slippers
and just looks at me
with a little sigh
and I look up
and being seen makes me wish to just cry harder
“you should just stay there”
as he walks into the next room
“but, wait.. what if I can’t do it?”
“but what if tomorrow I still can’t?”
“then tomorrow you won’t”
“all of this is okay
don’t you see?”
and I don’t
because I’m lying on the floor
and when you are lying on the floor
with tears welling in your eyes
you forget that you will ever rise again.
Depression is real. Anxiety is real. PTSD is real. ALL mental illnesses are real. Don’t believe anyone who is trying to tell you otherwise.
Every time I’m stressed I distract myself with doing something nice for someone else and it’s the best thing on this planet to watch someone’s eyes light up because they weren’t expecting something nice to happen.
If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.
At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.
We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.