Why do we choose those ones?
why do we go back there?
to the hot stoves
the ones we know that if we touch
will burn us?
who will surely reject us now
because he still claims openly he has a heart of stone
Why don’t we want the ones who smile
curiously at us
face in the foam
who are not afraid to show us that they like us
who leave us love letters under our doors
and show up on time
and tell us what a great time they had
and didn’t wait 5 days to reply to a message making us feel all vulnerable and yuck
Why do we do this to ourselves?
it’s like we are in a love story with rejection
torturing our spirits
with chasing men with dirty heart sheets
whose ex girlfriends we will bump into in the streets
and tell us the truth we knew ourselves
Why don’t we choose the ones who are clean?
who don’t use vices or women or attention
but their spirits and loving hearts to catch their fish
Why can’t we see the unavailable ones for what they are?
the unavailability we exist as in ourselves
and just love the parts of us that are terrified of intimacy
and sit there
and then we don’t need to hop on airplanes for men who will never be the knight
let alone the king.