What if we just missed our old lovers?
What if missing didn’t mean anything?
What if we loved somebody so deeply that our heart remembers them?
Be relieved your heart remembers them.
What if we weren’t so quick to do with the beat beat when it does?
Hell, today, I missed a lover. A man with similar hair and blue eyes paddled over a wave and I wanted that to be my past lover–and my last lover isn’t my person. He isn’t. And we aren’t each other’s people. I promise you with the sweat of my soul we aren’t.
But what if this sometimes miss or thinking of wasn’t put in a box? What if we just let it pass over our hearts without judgement or all the reasons why we should or shouldn’t talk to them?
And if you really want to–if you think that miss is there because they are your person, well, fuck.
Write them and say, “I miss you today and I don’t know what it means.” Don’t worry about them or if they’re dating somebody or if they’re single–you are not accountable for the feelings and actions or thoughts of anybody but yourself.
You communicating your feelings is no crime, it’s just a beautiful truth.
Let other people figure out what to do with your feelings. Let them stay awake at night or leave marriages or set boundaries with you and tell you that they don’t love you.
People can handle the truth.
Be the crazy ex girlfriend, the girl who some guy dated for a week that fell in love too fast.
We are only crazy and “too much” for the people who aren’t our people.
Our people will say, “I love you more for your truth.”
So go fuck it up if you feel like “doing” something with that miss.
You cannot fuck love up–so that’s the great news.
And you may not say it right, but who bloody cares?
Your ego cares, your perfectionism cares.
And if you don’t feel like doing anything with that miss, then just love them.
Love them when they show up in your heart.
God damn I hope you do miss the people you’ve loved sometimes–it means they mattered. It means they left foot prints in your heart that weren’t able to be washed away.
Let’s love and miss our lovers, and let that love and miss be okay tonight.