Recess (REC 100)
328 Hard Patch of Grass Behind The Library
Let’s face it – you need 3 more junk credits to graduate.
There will be three Blue Book exams, each worth 30% of your total grade. You are expected to fill every page with intricate caricatures of Helena Bonham Carter. The last 10% is based on your recommendation of hand lotion for my corpse-y winter knuckles.
- Sticker book
- Candy cigarettes
- Over-sized fleece throw blanket
- 2015 Oxford University Press edition of “Junie B. Jones Is a Party Animal” (previous editions are NOT acceptable.)
What to expect:
Yes, all lectures are held outside. You will be expected to take close notes on the Power Points. They are filled with pictures of cute baby fruit bats and C.S. Lewis quotes and they WILL NOT be posted online. When the snow melts, you will have the opportunity to earn extra credit by pushing wobbly freshmen off their slacklines.
By the end of this course, you should be able to:
- Circumnavigate the globe
- Perform open-heart surgery
- Converse in Latin.
I am available Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 pm to 1 am in the mysterious “tub room” on the 3rd floor of my dorm building. You will need to ask the night receptionist for a key, and she will give you a puzzled look because the tub room was designed for the bathing convenience of handicapped residents and you are probably a (slightly pizza-greasy) picture of health. If you crane your neck at her computer screen, you’ll see that the key was last checked out two years ago. But don’t worry; my tub smells of a recent Clorox scrub-down. Don’t be afraid. Just come here.