I want you to know I will never regret if you leave. I have come to the conclusion that the hope I have in me cannot save our love from falling. I need to say sorry for letting you go without any words to say or even a glimpse of goodbye before you decided to go away. The moments when we should have been happy turned into memories. I do not have the magic that you keep on looking for anymore, but I will never apologize for being ordinary.
The window where we used to see the stars outside will be full of dust and covered with shadows of trees at night. Those traces of yours in the bed and the scent of your hair on my pillows will be long gone. I imagine myself drinking alone in coffee shops and there is no one to read my words after you are gone. I know it will be different, especially when I have to spend all of my days with no one beside me and your memories will always be in my dreams as opposed to reality.
Yet, despite all of the missing pieces, you have to understand that you will also miss a lot of things when you leave. You will miss me when the time comes that you have to settle down for good and you realize that you have left me because of temporary feelings. You will miss me when you travel and spend your nights in a hotel room after casual sex. You will miss the times when you are down and I was beside you to be your shoulder to lean on. You will miss my stories and late night talks all because you decided to let me go.
Of course, it is okay. Because people get abandoned sometimes, only to find that better things are coming, and I am hoping for that. Certainly, there will be moments when you feel like you have made the right decision of leaving me in the dark. But you will not just miss all the memories we’ve had but the tough times we conquered together. It is alright to go but I am sure you will keep on looking for the remnants of me in your dreams, on your door, on a plane and even when you are just staring outside at the end of the day.
The truth is, you will miss people when they are gone and ignore them when they are around. You won’t know who I was in your life unless you leave and set me free. You may know it is wrong to just leave people hanging but you did it anyway. All of the things you have dreamed of doing and achieving will remain dreams because you did not fight for this love.
You are the one who has lost someone who would stay and that will be your greatest regret someday.