This Is Me Finally Committing To Myself

woman in gray cardigan standing near wooden gate
Roberto Pansolli / Unsplash

I realized that I got my shot last night.

No brandy would ever make me feel so good after you left. I have gotten so much of the heartache and I guess every little thing that I did is not that enough for you to stay. I may be so tipsy and dizzy but I would never forget how your eyes drifted away when all I ever wanted is for you to ask if I am still okay. I was so hopeful that somehow, you would still fight for me but the night ended like a misery.

Morning came and days passed by that I know I needed to forget how I can be a mess to someone who never really cares. At some point in my life, I should have known that there are some things not worth fighting for anymore. Yet, this is also the time to fully focus on myself. Because when you leave, you forget I am a warrior that knows how to conquer heartaches after getting left behind.

You have to know that there is so much time for me to be better. I do not have to blame myself for being too much or too little, because the right one would see me as someone who is enough for him. I can spend the rest of my nights sleeping peacefully. I do not need to harm myself anymore. I do not regret losing you because right there, I already found myself.

Maybe I am just too much to handle. But, I have to save myself rather than stay with you. Choosing my happiness over temporary love is much better than staying with uncertainties. I’ve had enough of broken promises and I am going to give all of the love and time for myself so I can be free. Getting wasted on alcohol for a night is enough but wasting myself for a long time is too much. I can freely be myself this time.

So, this is me finally committing to myself. This is me choosing to be alone than being with someone who took me for granted. This is me saving my heart for the right one. This is me setting you free and giving my heart a lot of space to be happy.

I got my last shot last night. And you got your last chance to decide tonight.

I hope you get to choose what is right. TC mark

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