I Can’t Be Your Friend Because I Want More Than That

Courtney Clayton / Unsplash

We have shared some parts of our lives with each other. You know I am a mess and I know you are trying to be perfect. You are aware of how I am struggling with my depression and I am a witness of how you strive to be a good son to your parents. We have a lot in common; from our own taste in music up to having interests in writing poems. You are good at numbers while I am good at letters. You are always been there and you never leave when all of the reasons to stay away have been brought up to you.

I know I cannot keep you. We have the best friendship but this attachment would mean taking so many risks on my part. And for that, I want to apologize. We cannot make this relationship stay because being friends would lead me to heartache. Maybe, this would hurt so much since leaving a friend seems like leaving your soulmate.

But how can we keep a friendship when I know that my feelings are more than that?

We can be right there for each other during our darkest moments but there will come a time that I need to face these hardships alone. Because in reality, not all friendships are as beautiful as finding someone you can spend most of your life with; sometimes it is about taking risks of being just friends but hurting yourself in the end. You will certainly find someone better and make most of your relationships with a better girl. But I will remain as the ordinary one; the one you never imagine you can be your other half.

Soon, the only thing that is left is a cold hug. There will never be a time to greet each other’s good night. Gone are the days when we can talk about a lot of things in the wee hours. All I could ever keep is the friendship that was gone and a love that was lost—all because I cannot keep myself safe with you. I cannot treat you as my home anymore.

I can imagine ourselves staying in our favorite place while eating Japanese food. My last memory of you will be your good voice and beautiful soul. The last music I want to hear is your voice. Your footsteps will be my hardest goodbye and I have to stay strong for a long time. We had the greatest friendship and I know you will definitely share the love I have for you in the world.

This friendship will always be our best relationship. TC mark

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