I have gathered all your promises and weaved them to serve as my blanket in times of longing. I have written all out memories, pasted all the sticky notes and stories of us to keep me from missing you. I have made my life a constant battle of going on and letting go, yet the world offers me a wide space to know that the reason for leaving and staying will always be about our choice.
I have tried to look for wonderful places and people; thinking I already found it through separating myself away from you and had it as my own escape route. I realized I am lost. A home should not be about worrying where I am. A home should not make me feel fearful of losing someone. A home must be all about peace and security. I followed the trails and that led me back to you.
You have to remember that your arms will always be my refuge and safest place. Your heart will always be the light to make the home more clear and shining. Your laughter will be the music inside it. Your flaws will be the reason to make this home worth living and staying for.
You see, we cannot force someone to be a home for us. Yet, I believe, this home will be of greater strength to someone who believes. This home may not be strong enough, but the storms and winds will soon fade. This home will not be threatened with the dark clouds anymore. Because it can stand alone and welcomes someone to stay someday.
My last therapy is all about finding my safest place. I answered the therapist about my ideal place and eventually told her a real one soon after we were finished. Your arms will always be my home and safest place all at once, because through them I finally found the love I have been looking for, for a long time.