In Defense of Forever

Kim
Kim

She was heartbroken and close to tears. She just went through an ugly breakup and near the brink of swearing off guys for eternity. She held my hands and looked at me straight in the eyes. Then she told me, “Please don’t take your relationship seriously.”

I was at the start of my first relationship and pretty hopeful that things would turn out well. Then here’s someone telling me that I shouldn’t take it seriously. Here’s someone who knew it took me months and a lot of guts to enter this relationship. And yet, I was expected to think that it’s soon bound for failure.

That was years ago, and even now people still tell me those kinds of statement. Asking me how long I’ve been in a relationship and then saying that even couples who’ve been together for eight years breakup. It’s probably just precaution, but it makes me feel like they’re only waiting for us to breakup.

I can’t seriously and whole-heartedly love someone while thinking that there will be more after him. Some people seem to have a problem with it, but I don’t.

They may be expert advice earned through years of loving relationships turned to painful ones and series upon series of hateful words and tearful goodbyes. But I see something wrong in telling someone aiming for a lifetime of commitment that it’s impossible to achieve it. Are we already so jaded that it’s difficult to believe that forever is impossible for anyone’s reality?

There’s so much stigma around the word forever that to attach it anywhere near your I love you’s makes them sound hollow. It’s often followed by eye rolls, scoffs, and sneers, as if believing in something eternal is shallow, imbecilic even. It’s cooler to laugh at the overly cheesy Facebook statuses of young love proclaiming that they’ll be together forever than wish that this time it would be true for this couple.

Who are we to judge somebody else’s forever? In fact, what’s wrong in believing in forever? What’s wrong in believing that some things may end sooner than expected but other things may last for a lifetime? It’s a sad reality that people would rather laugh at the face of someone who thinks forever is attainable than root them on. It may not be true for everyone, but why can’t it be true for someone?

I don’t have a problem with people who don’t believe in forever, but I have a problem with people who bring down those who do.

It’s necessary to guard our hearts and to be wary of heartbreak. But I believe in diving headfirst into love no matter the outcome. It’s also important to be so ridiculously in love and to root for that elusive forever. Failing seems better this way, because you know you gave your all than reach the end and know that you haven’t given even half of your heart.

I am rooting for forever, because I don’t see the point of investing so much time and emotions on someone if I’ll only think of our impending breakup.

Maybe this relationship won’t last as long as I hope. Maybe this forever will end next week or next month. But today I love you, and you make me feel like that I can love you forever. There’s nothing wrong with hoping that I will. TC mark

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