Let’s face the facts: being a human is exhausting sometimes. It’s already almost August, which tbh, means summer’s on its way out. You’re picking fights with your friends and family because you’re tired and bored at work. Every time you sign onto twitter or read the NYT it seems as if the world is falling apart. You can’t listen to T-Swifts “1989” on the train anymore without feeling a twinge of guilt/betrayal. It’s like there’s this “Blank Space” and nowhere to put this misplaced energy. To cope with these feelings, here’s my twist on the classic “scream into your pillow” technique Judy Blume taught me about when I was 13. Let the screaming commence. Here are a few things to yell into the feathers:
1. Your ex-boyfriend’s name (just to get that one off your chest).
2. The lyrics to “Breakaway” by Kelly Clarkson.
4. I will fuck you up!
6. Douche canoe!
7. Pokémon characters.
8. Twitter handles that irk you.
9. Melania plagiarized!!
10. Food you want to eat for dinner tonight. (“Pad thai!!!”)
11. Things that piss you off about Blake Lively.
12. Loafer! (just because it’s fun to say.)
13. Michael Scott quotes from “The Office” (“Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me.”)
14. I am Beyoncé!
15. Fuck ___ (insert the name of your 3rd grade teacher who told you you were a little ‘slow’)
16. Protect the sharks!
17. Hello, it’s me!
18. Simple Syrup!
19. I’ve got a blank space baby I’ll write your name!