We’ve all had that moment in a public space (the library, a café, or your shared apartment…) where someone has caught us scrolling through our own tagged pics on Facebook. In that instant, our cheeks were inflamed, we quickly, awkwardly hit apple-t, we vigorously typed nonsense as if to will the person away from our screens. It’s mortifying. It may seem like a forbidden act but it shouldn’t be. Here’s why it is totally fine/more than okay/encouraged to stalk yourself on the interwebs:
1. You’re hot.
2. Social media housekeeping is just as necessary as real life housekeeping these days.
3. The guy you were flirting with in IRL might not have seen that pic of your talented double-chinning that your bff uploaded yet— delete.
4. If you don’t, who really will?
5. You’re reminded of all of the fun, cool, amazing people in your life.
6. You can gain some wardrobe insight/fashion insights from yourself— through your fb pics you can learn that you wear that red dress with white flowers way too often…
7. You can be reminded of how good that avocado toast you made in January was.
8. To remind yourself that you definitely drink too much and that it’s way too apparent on the web.
9. It’s okay to be a narcissist sometimes. Like Kurt Cobain once said, “I don’t care what you think unless it is about me.”
10. You’re a millennial babayyy. Anything web-related goes.
11. You’re really meditating. Isn’t stalking yourself just a form of active self-reflection?
12. You can pretend you’re a future potential employer (again: delete, delete, delete)…
13. You’re really just bored at work and it’s something to do.
14. Remember that time you met Pete Wentz from Fall Out Boy in the seventh grade? Now you do.
15. You can become someone else– someone else who searches your name on google…
16. To see what other people posted about you.
17. To realize you’re still linked to your middle school softball team on the web.
18. Reality check: you’re not famous and that’s really a good thing.
19. To remind yourself that your LinkedIn pic could really use an update.
20. To check if your personality and tone across platforms is consistent (funny on twitter, negative on facebook, cutesey on Instagram: who even am I?)
21. You can track your metamorphosis over the years (did I really wear those yellow capri’s in 2006?!?)
22. Stalking yourself instead of others will make you less jealous/insecure.
23. It’s a good opportunity to celebrate you’re accomplishments (look at all the places you’ve been, people you’ve met, jobs you’ve held!)
Pat yourself on the back. You’re not doing anything wrong.