Even if you don’t hail from BK or have never even been, if you’re a millennial you will most likely relate to these absurd questions you find yourself asking.
1. Hipster or homeless person?
2. What flavor of kombucha will taste the least like fermented worms with infused rose petals?
3. Will these artisanal, home-crafted condoms stand up to the test?
4. Whole wheat everything or regular everything?
5. Will I really be ‘hood foreva’’ like Jay-Z said?
6. Pop-up party or rooftop bar Thurs?
7. (On the subway) Is that a leather wallet or his ballsack?
8. Was that just Nigel Barker eating a fish taco?
9. How many people on my guest list are on a strictly raw food diet?
10. Will my bike lock be strong/tricky/good enough?
11. Where did all of these people come from?
12. Am I having a panic attack or am I actually just suffocating?
13. Are “Amy’s Organic cheddar bunnies” actually any different than goldfish?
14. Is this an interactive art piece or someone having a nervous meltdown in a unitard?
15. Can I get herpes if I bite my nails after holding the pole on the subway?
16. Are pigeons actually getting less and less scared of humans each year?
17. Would Carrie Bradshaw eat here?
18. Am I creative enough? Am I even creative at all actually?
19. Are enough of my things “Fair Trade”?
20. Do I need a real career or can I just babysit for wealthy wall street parents?
21. What neighborhood has the least fuckboyish fuckboys?
22. Why is it that every guy who works on a construction site thinks it’s okay to whistle at me? Was that included in the job description: Must build and holler?
23. Which of my friends isn’t living in their parent’s basement or childhood bedroom?
24. Why do I feel like I want to punch everyone in the face at all times?
25. Which vintage store sells knit crop-tops?
26. Why won’t Beacon’s Closet take any of my great-grandmother’s cashmere sweaters?
27. Should I wear this in case I run into HONY today and he wants to take my picture?
28. Why is everyone texting while they’re walking!?
29. Does recycling actually even happen here?
30. Why are you tweeting everything I’m saying right now?
31. Do vegan people have plates of bacon hidden in their drawers at work like normal people have candy?
32. What happened to the ankle portion of men’s pants?
33. How can I Instagram this latte in a way that’s unique?
34. Do I even deserve to live in a room bigger than my closet?