There are real issues like the short fucking sentence the Rapist from Stanford received, the fact that due to our messed up criminal justice system, 2.38 million Americans are in prison (not to mention the fact that African-Americans are incarcerated nearly 6 times the rate of whites) and that Donald Trump is the presumptive Republican Candidate. And then there are non-issues that can also really suck. Look no further.
1. When you pick up a slice of pizza from the crust and the cheese slips completely off into the box and you’re left with a naked-mermaid looking thing that looks extremely unappealing .
2. When your sock falls down in your shoe as you walk .
3. When you receive a text message and accidentally lock your phone right after you’ve unlocked it and need to re-enter your passcode.
4. When your macbook reminds you (EVERYDAY) that you have “important updates” and you don’t have time for that shit.
5. When all of a sudden you have hoards of random guys that you have no mutual friends with friending you on Facebook (I’m sorry Brahim but I don’t fucking know you and am not interested in your ninja turtle profile pic).
6. When you’re out at a party with your “pretty friend” and a guy comes up to you and asks “what’s your friend’s name?” Thanks Chad for making me feel great.
7. When you post a flawless Insta post at the wrong time and it doesn’t get nearly as many likes as it should. You should’ve known.
8. When you’re biking and you have to carry a bike down a flight of stairs and there’s no good way to carry it that doesn’t make your arms feel like they are being pulled out of their sockets.
9. When you thought you recorded “The Bachelorette” on DVR but something happened (your sister recorded over your show) and now the only thing you’ve actually been looking forward to on this shitty Tuesday is ruined.
10. When you put lip-gloss on and step outside and your hair flies to your mouth like it’s your pretty friend at that party and your lip-gloss is actually Chad. Thanks again Chad.
11. When you are having dinner out with someone you’re not completely comfortable with and get too full and just want to lie down but it would be “rude”.
12. When you slip-up and put your deodorant on and big, blotchy white stains appear all over your shirt and you have to be out the door in 5 minutes.
13. When you spend time putting your hair up and finally get the pony-tail right with no bumps and realize you missed a piece.
14. When you stub your toe (the pain speaks for itself).
15. When you think someone is waving at you and you excitedly wave back only to realize the wave was for the (cooler) person behind you.
16. When you’re about to get on the subway, plane or anywhere where you don’t have service/wi-fi and you forgot to download the spotify playlist you wanted to listen to.
17. When you are at work and realize you forgot a hair-tie.
18. When you let your mom scroll through your Instagram account and she accidentally likes 12 random posts.
19. When you’re hungry and someone asks you how your day is going. Fuck off Mark from CVS.
20. When you finish an interview and they say “we’ll be in touch” and you are absolutely positive that that won’t happen.
21. When you meet your boyfriend’s dad and he asks you what you’re doing with your life and you have no response.
22. When you wait too long to drink your tea because it was too hot and now it’s the lukewarm flavor and texture of disappointment.
23. When your pants shrink in the dryer and people think you’re shopping for the wrong sizes (you’re not delusional, your dryer is).
24. When your boyfriend entertains himself by jiggling your arm fat (STOP).
25. When your bookmark falls out in your bag and you lose your place in your book.
26. When you test out a bunch of passwords because you can’t remember which one is for which account and you know you’re just an exclamation point off.
27. When you forget your headphones (what the fuck do you do now).
28. When you screenshot something annoying that your friend said to talk shit about to another friend but accidentally send it to the friend instead (oops).
29. When you see another article about Trump and wonder what the “media” even is anymore and want to pack up all of your belongings and move to Canada (I guess this one’s a real issue).
30. When your best friend is talking to that girl you can’t stand at a party and you question everything you’ve ever known.
31. When you’re wearing a romper and are too lazy to take it off when you go to the bathroom so you just push it to the side and accidentally pee on it a little.
32. When you’re wrong.
33. When you wear a white shirt to Korean BBQ and wonder what the fuck you were thinking.
34. When you realize you have the same hours in a day as Beyoncé (the gifs aren’t comforting or inspiring, just depressing).