There’s always someone from the past whose memories linger when you think of love. Regardless if he was your ex, an ‘almost’, the one who got away, or that guy who will never see you as more than his friend.
Almost everything written about the definition of love held true its essence. Even the bible had defined love so beautifully that it became every fruitful marriage’s foundation. Some have their greatest love stories told over generations while others shared a lesson learned.
For some, it is quite inevitable that love fades. For others, they just lost transit.
The rest found it in the most unforeseen state. But what about those who fall in love alone? Those who are trapped in the “friend zone.” Those who chose to love someone from afar and in silence. Those who stand as victims of a one-sided affair.
The emotional asymmetry of not being loved in return can bring pangs in places you didn’t know you have inside you. How it can reveal itself in so many ways thinking you’ve moved on when in fact you haven’t even taken a single step forward.
No matter how many shots of vodka you down with your friends, or how many shopping bags you load in your car, or how many anti-depressant pills you take, you still find yourself drenched in tears at night.
You go over every detail and second-guess yourself because you still hope that you’re wrong about thinking he’s no good for you.
Because every time he presents himself in an unlikeable manner, you ignore it. You defend him deep inside. And he wins you again when he puts in the littlest of efforts. In that brief moment, you’re in a cloud of bliss again. Just like that, you lost your own argument of persuading yourself that he’s a man who will not love you back.
You have to stop imprisoning yourself in this delusion. Breathe. Cease feeding that forceful energy and don’t allow it to drain every ounce of self-respect.
The utopian dream of an impossibly reciprocated affection is a make believe reality. Stop recalling the moment pinpointing when and how you messed up your chances with the guy. Be bold and take the first step in surviving the hopeless situation. Admit and acknowledge that what’s inside you has to change. Muster the courage to walk away from an unrequited love.
Tell yourself that it’s right that it ended. Feel the pain.
Know that the following morning you’ll still feel more pain. Let the empty feelings die a natural death. Soon enough you’ll begin to see past the emotions and you’re on your way to being okay.
It will hit you each waking day. It’ll hit you when you turn to bed and feel the void in every corner of your room. It’ll hit you when you surprisingly triumph over trying to soften the sobs. And it’ll definitely hit you when you finally choose to pursue your own happiness because you have a life to start living and he’s not a part of it and you aren’t the person you were anymore.
Every story demands an ending, a closure, a resolution, a lesson. You and only you can put an ending to this. The proximity to fully liberating yourself from the misery is happening now.