A Letter To My Almost Lover, Thank You

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I came to realize that each of us would have at least one almost lover in our life. They tend to be the asshole and the bad boy that’s capable in driving our heart crazy from head to heels. From the sweet talk to the touches, they never failed to make our heart skip a beat. Time spend with them leave us on cloud nine while our heart rage with madness whenever we felt neglected.

This unattainable love was intriguing and enticing; we were attracted to the bad boy like how a moth was drawn to the fire. Being with this almost lover also means we’ll never know where we stand. We are not lover, but more than friend. Yet, we doesn’t mind all that as long as we were able to spend time together and him showering all the affection and attention at us, thinking that one day, we will be able to transform this bad boy into a husband material. But boy, how wrong we were.

For they were called a heartbreaker and asshole for a reason. The unobtainable love that once offers the excitement and burning passion will soon be replace with tears and despair. For you never realized the expiry date that was slapped right on top of your forehead from the very first moment you met him until it’s too late. Getting over this almost lover is perhaps, the hardest part of all. That undefined relationship complicate the whole process further for you can neither blame anyone nor anything from the past for you to pinpoint from.

You feel used, you feel stupid. You know you have to get over him and you hated yourself when you have to put on a poker face and pretend nothing ever happened whenever you meet him. You tried to be brave, thinking why should you care when he doesn’t despite you knowingly realize that you are so in love with this almost lover. The almost lover that let you have a taste of of unwinnable love.

Your heart broke to pieces that you feel like dying at one point of time.

But these bad time will passed eventually. Braced the heart break and hang on the thread of hope. For when you realize that you’re over this almost lover, you will find yourself thanking him for everything, for teaching you the important lessons in life. Because of him, you are now a better person. And because you once love this almost lover, you now know how to appreciate the real love. You realized your self worth and discover the confidence you never knew existed. And above all, you slowly learn how to love and be love in the right way.

So, so long my almost lover. Because you are unattainable, you are unforgettable. I still yearned for your attention every now and then, and your touch still excite me at times. But that’s it. For I learned enough not to entrust my heart to you again. For you showed me the brutal side of the world, that not every relationship is sincere and comes with a happy ending.

So,

For being in my life, thank you.

For shaping me to who I am today, thank you.

For showing me the difference of a real man and an asshole, thank you.

For letting me have a taste of the unattainable love, thank you.

And above all, thank you for from you, I learn to appreciate and love the people who truly love me unconditionally.

For you turned out to be the best thing I never had. And I will always be the best thing you never had.

I thank you for those bitter sweet memories. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

featured image – Caro Wallis

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