Closure is having 3 gulps of your favorite cappuccino and you recognize that bitter after-taste, only it lasts a bit longer in your mouth.
Closure is doing perfectly fine today, doing things you enjoy, and the next moment, you are down in your bathroom floor crying and asking what went wrong.
Closure is waking up on a Sunday morning, that familiar feeling that the weekend is about to close and yet you couldn’t do anything about it.
Closure is that hope in your heart that you did what you can do today to survive, and wishing you’ll do better tomorrow.
Closure is glancing at your phone at 9 PM secretly wishing they check on you, but they never did.
Closure is going to movies alone and bawl your eyes out on your drive home because your song was blaring on the radio. And no, you do not have the courage to turn it off.
Closure is finding the courage to get up from bed after re-reading all your previous conversations even if you already know how it was going to end. With you in tears.
Closure is going to a concert you like and still hear that loud beat in your ear long after the song is over. It does not go away easily.
Closure is never easy. Closure is shouting “Fuck you” at the top of your lungs with your middle finger up in the air because it makes you feel better.
But let me tell you about the beauty of closure – closure does not require their consent. It doesn’t require their explanation or their approval. Closure does not require their acknowledgement.
It may seem that you are on the losing end because they have moved on faster than the blink of an eye while you are stuck with nothing but your self-destructive thoughts and a little hope of redemption, but closure is not a contest. It does not mean you lost just because it took you a little longer than them.
Closure is that small step you make regardless of how many times you fall, or how many bruises you get.
Closure is not forgetting. It’s not about erasing them from your memory and pretending they never existed. Closure is being fine with remembering.
Closure is sleeping at night with a clean conscience and knowing that after all the unreturned texts, mixed signals, lying, manipulation and all the bullshit they threw at you – you survived. And that’s all that matters.
Your survival is closure.