1. The tiniest things are making you want to scream and lash out and throw someone into a pit of lava.
2. You literally do not know who you are right now. So aggressive! So lost! So desperately need to get it together!
3. You are craving an obscene amount of wine and it’s not healthy. A drunk existential crisis is NOT going to help you right now.
4. Did you just go to Taco Bell and spend like $20? Yikes. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
5. When you try to sleep, all you do is think about the long list of shit you haven’t done in your life yet.
6. You can’t even bear opening Instagram because people are like DOING THINGS and you’re… not.
7. The rain is a perfect backdrop for your tears. Or if it’s sunny, the sun is too bright and you draw the blinds and just… wallow. Wallow so hard.
8. No, but seriously, who are you? What is life? Why are we here? What is existence?
9. What’s the point of… ANYTHING?
10. WHOA WHOA WHOA. YOU ARE NOT OKAY.
11. You kinda wanna change your life. Or, you kinda wanna order Chinese and watch an episode of House of Cards.
12. Is this another Mercury retrograde? Things really need to stop being in retrograde. It’s really fucking you up.
13. You don’t even know what you enjoy anymore. Everything is sort of boring and not worth putting on pants for.
14. But you miss your friends! You miss doing things! You used to have a life, but now you’re just sort of… lost.
15. YOU ARE SO LOST. How do you find yourself again? Where did you go? What is the meaning of life? What is time? Does reincarnation exist? What is life? What is Earth? What is anything? What is your life’s meaning? Is it all meaningless? Is this an illusion?
16. Seriously, you are in a state. You might need to call your mom or your best friend or your therapist or your life coach or your spiritual advisor or maybe your astrologist or your psychic or ANYONE THAT CAN HELP YOU.
17. Or maybe you need to get a dog or a cat or a houseplant or something to give you a sense of purpose in life.
18. You need a purpose! You need a hobby! GO DO SOMETHING. LEAVE YOUR APARTMENT. CLOSE NETFLIX. TURN OFF THE COMPUTER. SAVE YOURSELF!!!