16 Emotions Everyone Who Is Obsessed With Serial Is Experiencing Right Now

By

THIS PODCAST IS MAKING ME LOSE MY MIND, YOU GUYS.

1. CONFUSION

Did Adnan do it? Why would Jay say he did if he didn’t? How did Jay know where Hae’s car was parked? Where’s Don? THEN, WHO THE FUCK DID IT?

2. PANIC

What if after all of this listening and debating and wondering we never actually find out the truth about who murdered Hae? What if we’re just left with more questions than when we started?

3. OUTRAGE

If we don’t find out who actually killed Hae for real, like 100%, we are all writing angry letters to Sarah Koenig, is this a pact we can all make right now?

4. HEARTBREAK

But if Adnan didn’t do it, he’s been in jail for so long for something he didn’t do.

5. DOUBLE HEARTBREAK

But if he did do it, oh my god, how sad. How awful. He’s so charming!

6. FEAR

Oh my god, if Adnan did do it and he’s also this charming, that’s scary. Sure, we know that dangerous people don’t always appear dangerous, but this isn’t a movie. He might actually be this charming and likable and also a murderer. Fuck, man. Fuck.

7. ANXIETY

There is not another episode until after Thanksgiving. We have to sleep so many sleeps before we get our next fix that will probably only present more questions that go unanswered. This is a nightmare!

8. TORN IN TWO

Are you Team Jay or Team Adnan? Maybe you’re Team Stephanie?

9. AWE

Stephanie sounded like a dream. Where is Stephanie now? How is she? Did she live out a beautiful and bright future full of promise? Is Stephanie the unsung hero of this whole podcast? Has anyone found her on Facebook?

10. WTF?

Wow, not sure what is more wtf about Serial: how obsessed we all are with the lives of some high school kids from 1999 or how there’s anyone actually with an internet connection who is not listening to this podcast because oh my godddddd.

11. UGHHHHHH

We want to believe Adnan but the Nisha call! THE. GODDAMN. NISHA. CALL!!!!!!!!!!!

12. GIDDY

Mail… kimp? Heheheheheheheheheehheeh. (It’s like us cool people who listen to Serial are all in on some amazing inside joke and it feels good. We’re all in this together.)

13. REGRET

If this is like a LOST situation where the ending is incredibly unfulfilling and we get no answers, we are going to regret having started this adventure. This isn’t a movie. Sarah Koenig can’t just make up the ending. Why did we start listening to this! We’re trapped now. Trapped in the questions. Trapped in our theories. Trapped in the back and forth that is did-Adnan-fucking-do-this-or-did-he-not?

14. AHHHHHHH

NO PAY PHONE AT BEST BUY?! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT.

15. DEPRESSION

Two more episodes left only. Only two more! That’s, at best, two more hours of investigative reporting. There’s just no way all our questions will be answered. We’re going to be left wondering, you guys. We’re going to be left unfulfilled. Oh god. This is awful.

16. HOPE

But, maybe not. Maybe Sarah will come through for us! Maybe she will wrap it all up and we’ll be so satisfied and full of all the knowledge necessary to continue on with our lives without contemplating any more of our theories or suppositions. Maybe! All we have is our hope. Let’s keep it alive! Two more episodes!


I’m so afraid. I’m so confused. This is an emotional roller coaster I did not expect to be on. Damn you, Sarah. Damn you and your addictive and incredible narration. Team Jay? Team Adnan? Who knows?

THEN, WHO THE FUCK DID ITTTTTTT.