I know there are beauty standards and there are expectations on you to be a certain way, to look a certain way, to achieve a certain kind of life and body and face and level of put-togetherness. But, you know what? You need to carve out your little corner of the world. You need to fight like hell to accept yourself in however package you come in with whatever hopes and dreams you want to pursue. You need to burrow into that corner and you need to forget that expectations exist and you need to get far away from people who are telling you to be anything other than who you are. You need to throw away gossip and fashion magazines and you need to put your money and your time into where your love is, in the things that lift you up.
I know you want things to be different and so do I. I know you want inclusivity. However, once you begin to ignore these expectations and pressures, you will want all of this less and, in turn, you will be giving less power to those who currently have the power to dictate what our bodies or our lives should look like. Why? Because, their goal is money. If you stop giving them your money and attention and you go do you, they will have to change, not vice versa.
This is not about everybody being beautiful. Or, being beautiful at any size. This is certainly true, but this goes past beauty. Fuck beauty. When are you going to be done chasing beauty instead of chasing a beautiful life? You can be happy and in love and free and live fully without being beautiful. You can. You can carve out your corner of the world and surround yourself with people that love you and you can do work that you are passionate about and you can be smart and capable and you can be a parent and you can find someone that sees your soul reflected off your face and body and you can have all of this while not possessing beauty.
Because, being beautiful is a trait like any other trait. Smart. Funny. Interesting. Serious. Beautiful. Weird. Traits. Facets of who you are, not the whole of who you are. I know you know this. And, I know it’s hard to put into practice, but all I can say is that beauty standards will not change at the rate in which you need them to. And, you have to fight like hell to believe in yourself and to be able to look in the mirror and not carry around the weight of your self-loathing for the rest of the day or week or month. You have to find a way through all that. You cannot get buried under the idea that beauty is all that matters. This is your only life and if you spend it obsessed with how you look to a degree that you do not fully live your life, it will be the one thing you will truly regret during your last days.
You have to find a way to fight for your life. You just do. Heal your shit. Heal what comes up. Look inward for validation, instead of looking outward for it. You may never be represented on television or movies or magazines and, even if you are, build your own foundation. Don’t wait for someone to give you permission to unapologetically love the fuck out of who you are and what you look like. You can have everything you think you want and the only limitation is the simple idea that you think there is one.