1. People will try to make advance plans with you and your first reaction is no thank you and your second is, can I let you know 2 hours before this thing is going to start if I’ll be there or not?
2. Some people are such fervent planners that they can commit to things months in advance. That’s insane to you. You don’t even know who you’ll be tomorrow, never mind if you’ll be actually excited to do something that 2-month-ago-you decided would be fun.
3. There’s a couple of choice people you will always commit to plans with no matter how far in advance they are. They could be five years in advance and if these 2-3 people will be there, so will you. You hold onto these precious rare breeds of people with the ferocity of a thousand hungry lions.
4. Needless to say, you’ve been single for a long time and BY CHOICE. A relationship is the ultimate commitment so, oh, big surprise, you’ve been hesitant to make that leap.
5. If you are in a relationship, at least twice a month you’ll be convinced you need to be alone and it’s very unsettling. (It’s not that you don’t love the person you’re with, it’s these pesky commitment issues that keep getting in the way of all your hopes and dreams and happiness… at least that’s what it feels like most of the time.)
6. But no seriously committing to one person is your personal Everest.
7. Your indecisiveness is an art form at this point. The amount of times you can waffle over a decision only to undo that decision within moments is actually quite impressive.
8. You have decided for yourself that the best decision is the one that can be undone quickly and without affecting anyone else.
9. It’s as if the moment you commit to a workout regimen or a change in eating is the moment you automatically want to uncommit. Your aversion to commitment is strong enough that, even if you decide to commit, your brain is immediately like, ABORT THIS MISSION.
10. You regard those who commit and stick with things in a kind of reverence that is normally reserved for deities.
11. You drive your friends crazy because all you want to do is talk about the decisions you can’t make because you are going back and forth. If they’re frustrated, it can’t even touch how frustrated you are with yourself.
12. You strongly believe that all your happiness is on the other side of your decision to commit, if only you could just stick with someone, anyone, anything, any project, any exercise routine, ANYTHING.
13. You think it’s incredibly natural to be dating multiple people at the same time: people who are all different, maybe even different genders, mainly because your hunger for choices and variety is so deeply-ingrained that you cannot be expected to choose a person. You can’t even choose a restaurant, how are you expected to choose a HUMAN BEING?
14. People say you are emotionally unavailable and a tease and a flirt, but really, it’s not your fault. You just cannot get a handle on this commitment thing and it’s almost to a phobia status at this point. People do not understand your commitment struggle!
15. If you do find someone that actually propels you to want to commit, you marry them on the spot because this is clearly the rarest moment of your life and this moment will never come around again. It’s like you have a built-in certainty detector, because if anyone or anything gives you the feeling of desiring commitment, you’re like, THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE ONE THING/PERSON I LOVE.
16. People say you keep an air of mystery around you, but that’s because you are always about one second away from ghosting out of every relationship you’ve ever had because, the moment you feel the clamps of commitment around you is the exact moment you feel the most pressing need to run far and fast and out of there immediately. You don’t try to be like this, it just happens! The fear is real. The struggle is real. It’s all very, very real.