Thought Catalog

9 Subconscious Things You Do When You Aren’t Being True To Yourself

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1. You justify your decisions
“I’m not going to write today, because I wrote yesterday and I’m tired and I just don’t feel like writing.” Sound familiar? Every time we have to justify a reason for not doing something, we’re most likely straying from what we truly want to be doing. If you choose not to do something and feel no need to justify yourself for making that choice, then you are staying true to your own desires. However, once you start piling up reasons as to why you are ignoring what you desire to do, then you need to stop in that moment and ask yourself, “Is this fear?” Because, fear is the never-ending source of all your reasons for not doing the thing you say you want to do.

2. You get that small stirring in your gut that you ignore
When you make a decision or you say something that is not true to yourself, you will get that pang in your gut. Many people can attribute this to a physical feeling of guilt. This feeling you’re receiving is a gift and, instead of ignoring it, you can acknowledge it, listen to it, and see what is the better choice for you.

3. You quickly pass off “bad” emotions
Our emotions and feelings are incredible insights into our intuition. When we feel anger, it means we are ready for something to change. When we feel guilt, it means we are doing something out of alignment with who we are and what we say we want. These are simple access points into ourselves and when we pass off the “bad” or “negative” emotions as useless and something to hide from, then we are missing out on the learning experiences we can glean from the presence of those emotions. Next time you have a “bad” feeling, listen to it, analyze it, go just a step deeper into why that emotion is there, instead of trying to avoid it.

4. You abandon yourself (and your desires) in small ways
A little critical self-talk here. A mean-spirited gossip about a friend there. A judgmental reaction to someone here. These are small abandons from your true self and, while a couple don’t make a big difference, they start to add up and snowball into long gossip sessions, days of critical self-talk, a judgmental attitude towards others. Soon, you can begin to feel lost from who you truly are. If you start to feel this way, you can just choose to react differently next time and start that cycle, because just as the mindset of abandoning who you are snowballs, so does the one that happens when you stay true to yourself. Once you start choosing what feels best and right for you, it becomes easier to continue doing so.

5. You break promises to yourself (and don’t realize it)
Once in a while, these are fine, but again, they add up. Each time you say you’re going to do something and then back out of it, you’re breaking these tiny promises to yourself and it doesn’t feel great to do so. It creates even more of a distance between you and your truest self.

6. You attract drama into your life
There is nothing redeeming about unnecessary drama. When you start attracting it into your life, you are distracting yourself from yourself. It’s a brilliant plan when you think about it: if you have drama all up in your life, you don’t have the time or energy to devote to what really matters to you. It’s a perfect way of avoiding the fear that comes from going after whatever it is that is true to you. Drama immediately yanks you out of that tuned in space because it demands all your energy. Once you stop feeding into the drama and continue on with what’s true to you, it will cease to distract you.

7. You give away your power to someone or something else
If you are trying to stay true to yourself and it’s becoming fearful, it can be easy to start giving your power away to others. You want their validation. You want them to tell you you’re doing great. You want them to give you a path. This is a way to avoid having to trust yourself because if you put your trust in someone else, you don’t really have to be responsible for what happens in your life. This is disempowering. Once you start to fully show up for yourself and listen to what you desire and need, you will find that outside validation or external advice is needed far less than you would expect.

8. You procrastinate
Procrastination is fear in sheep’s clothing! It is fear, fear, fear and more fear. Fear at its finest! At the root of it, procrastination is avoidance. There is no possible way to be true to yourself while also avoiding yourself. These are complete opposites and cannot exist in the same space. In order to be fully you and stay true to yourself, you cannot avoid yourself due to fear, procrastination, distraction, anything like that. You must face yourself daily and show up to that and some days it will be much easier than others.

9. You feel heavy without realizing it
It’s not until a burden is lifted that we realize how heavy the burden actually was. When we keep choosing to abandon ourselves, subconsciously or otherwise, it weighs on us. However, once we choose again and stay true to ourselves, we feel the lightness that comes from that choice. That lightness becomes intoxicating, our true north and our center. Once we continue to choose our true desires, we feel that lightness more often and can readily identify when a choice has us burdened or weighed down.

You can do so much more with your one life if you stay true to who you are. It may be New Age-y, it may be hippie dippie or woo woo to think like this, but it only takes a few choices that align with what you desire to convince you that this is a beautiful way to live. There is peace in choosing your true self. There is lightness and more love to experience. There is an effortless unfolding of life. There is less stress and more understanding. Less frustration and more compassion. Once you begin to align with your true self and are aware of small ways in which you abandon what feels right to you, you set yourself on a path that can truly transform the way you experience this life. TC mark

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