1. You just want a good cry, but it won’t come out — so you will it to come out. You have to put your saddest or most uplifting show on in order to feel a semblance of emotion.
2. You schedule in your time to cry and it’s right when you’re off work and you’re so good at handling your emotions that you can actually force yourself to feel on cue.
3. While other people are out there having outbursts of emotion, you’re hanging out like, yo, what’s the big deal?
4. Something catastrophic will happen and everyone will ask you, “How are you so calm?”
5. When anything happens that requires processing an emotion, you go into computer mode, wherein you shut down, run your processing software and then, success, “Emotion Has Been Processed, Ready to Reboot.” It’s kind of like magic, except a lot sadder. (Although, you don’t know it’s sad, because you’re sort of incapable of feeling sad for longer than a few moments, right up until the point that you process it and rationalize it away.)
6. You’re inevitably the first person your friends go to for advice because they know they’ll get the most level-headed, actionable point of view around.
7. Your ability to see a person’s side from all angles makes it so you could rationalize pretty much anything you put your mind to.
8. People have suggested you look into becoming a lawyer.
9. Sometimes you’re so good at rationalizing your emotions away that they’ll store up for weeks and you’ll be exhausted for what you assume is no reason whatsoever, but what is really happening is that your body is just now catching up to all the feelings you’ve stuffed down.
10. You’ll find yourself experiencing sadness or despair and not knowing where you picked it up from, because you had already felt it and dealt with whatever triggered the emotion in the first place.
11. When you see someone have an outright display of emotion, you’re like, “Can you not?” It’s so uncomfortable for you to see someone not be in control of their emotions that it’s as if they’re running around in their underwear.
12. The idea of being vulnerable makes you want to puke right now.
13. You have 100% been jealous of people who are “overcome” with emotion. It’s so difficult for you to access emotions that the only thing you’re ever overcome with is hunger and, even that, gets buried pretty quickly.
14. While on the one hand you don’t have to intensely feel emotions like sadness or grief, you also don’t intensely feel emotions like joy or love.
15. People have actually asked you, “Are you excited? I actually can’t tell.” They would ask you this when you were as excited as your rational brain would let you be.
16. When you do finally have an emotional outburst and tears are rolling down your cheeks, you think of anything you can possibly recollect to keep the tears flowing.
17. The way you express your emotions is robotic: “I felt sad on Monday, beep boop beep. Power down.”
18. Usually, the people who rationalize the most are the most sensitive, which is a particularly terrible burden to bear because you’re like, “ALL I WANT TO DO IS FEEL MY FEELINGS,” but your brain is like, “NOPE SORRY OVERRIDE.”
19. God forbid someone falls in love with you, then they will be sorry to find out that, while you are great at understanding how they feel, you are horrible at understanding how you feel, thus driving your partner to a crazy place where they are all, “Are you a person in there or did the robots take over again?”
20. You are especially obsessed with emotional music because it takes you to a place where you can feel, but also are able to mute the song in case the feeling gets way too real.
21. You’re not usually the one that starts fights in your relationship, but if you do get in a fight, you’re mad or upset for about 10 minutes and then you’re like, “Ok I’m done fighting now, let’s talk like adults and work this out, k thanks.” Inevitably, the other person is still stewing and you have to wait hours for them to deal with their feelings before you can talk about a fight you’ve already processed and dealt with hours ago.
22. People tease you for being an overthinker but that’s only because you have so! much! to! think! about! Plus, your overthinking helps you understand them better so what are they complaining about?
23. You start to consider it your life’s work to open up and feel things before rationalizing them away and you notice that this is the actual definition of struggle and you know, deep down, that you will only experience the full extent of joy and goodness and love if you can also allow yourself to feel the full extent of those opposites and while that scares the living shit out of you, you consider it a worthy risk to take and you open up more and deeper than you thought you could and you cry more than you thought you would and it feels terrible and amazing all at the same time and you’re like, finally, I’m alive and it’s wonderful and not so wonderful and that’s okay, because at least I can feel it all.