RomanceLove

Why It’s So Difficult For Successful People To Fall In Love

I never stop moving. Not enough to settle anywhere for long enough to fully invest in someone else. I’m too busy to keep myself fed, let alone find time to spend with someone else. I want to prioritize my work and my success over everything else, so that means I don’t have time to spend playing the dating game.

At least, that’s what I tell myself—it’s my main excuse for why I haven’t even tried to fall in love.

I’m sure a lot of people can relate. Between working one (or two or three) jobs, trying to pay bills, keeping up a social life, eating healthy, exercising, and spending time with family (whether blood or found), it is difficult to find time to date. On top of this, it is easier than ever to not be sure if someone is truly committed to you or not. So really, what’s the point? The time invested in a one-week relationship can be better spent putting in a few more hours volunteering or networking or finishing up that big project.

Right?

I hate mixed signals and want to know exactly where I stand with someone. Relationships, especially those that are supposed to end with a “happily ever after,” don’t come with a guarantee that you will ever completely know someone. I don’t want to invest time and energy into something that could fall apart and break my heart.

Work is different. There are a set of tasks to complete and people to talk to, and you will (generally) know right away if you are doing a good job. The more time you invest, the more people will know who you are, and the more material success you will have. And for a lot of people, that’s all they need.

Successful people need a partner and someone just as driven and ambitious as they are. There is no room in their lives for someone who is uninspired and will bring them down. A partner in life who could provide guidance, support, and inspiration would completely fulfill any successful person’s life.

The problem?

They are all too busy with their own successes to find other people like them to fall in love with.

And so we all become jaded and cynical.

I’ve spent many nights wondering if it is me that has ruined my past relationships—maybe if I hadn’t focused too much on work, maybe if I hadn’t been so tough in this specific instance, maybe if I hadn’t asked for so much, maybe, maybe, maybe.

Too often, successful people are hesitant to open up because a failed relationship is still a failure, still a setback, still a black mark on their otherwise perfect record. And it hurts to know that while you are successful in a lot of things, you weren’t successful in keeping someone around. It is easier to not try than to fail at being loved.

But there’s still hope.

Any potential partner should be aware that, at least for now, our main focus is success. And if they aren’t on the same wavelength, then they are not the right partner. I have found a lot of people say they understand my commitment to my work and everything else I do to create success in my life but then become jealous or frustrated or angry when that takes time away from them—or I am more successful than them.

Until successful people can find someone who is overjoyed with their success and celebrates those accomplishments with them, they will not be able to fall in love. TC mark

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Jamie is a book connoisseur and believer in magic. Follow Jamie on Instagram or read more articles from Jamie on Thought Catalog.