While there are days where I’m extremely busy from the time I clock in to the time I clock out, there are also days where the minutes just seem to creep along at an agonizing pace. Its times like these that make me wonder whose great idea it was to set the standard working week at 40+ hours in the first place. Anyways, I’ve discovered 10 random (or not-so-random) acts that I do at work to keep myself sane, and entertained, while waiting for 5 o’clock to arrive. For the safety and security of my employment, I will keep my list to things that can’t get me fired because I still have bills to pay. I was born cute, not crazy.
1. Burst Out in Song (and Dance) in the Bathroom
I don’t know what happens the moment I make eye contact with myself in the mirror, but I instantly break out in full Beyonce mode. I’m singing, I’m shimmying, I’m lip-syncing for my life, I might even drop it like it’s hot a few times. It goes down. Okay, I might be exaggerating a bit (not really), but sometimes I just feel the need to exert energy that gets tucked away when I’m sitting on my butt all day. Sidenote: I usually check the bathroom to make sure that I’m giving a one-woman show, but I have been walked in before. Talk about embarrassment.
2. Listen to Radio or Podcasts on a Hand Held Device
Thank God for technology. While I am a long time lover of Pandora (I have stations that range from Britney Spears to En Vogue to Kirk Franklin to Gloria Estefan), I recently discovered another lifesaving medium at work: podcasts. I recently started listening to popular YouTube personality, Kid Fury’s and his co-host, Crissle’s podcast called The Read, where they discuss hot topics like celeb gossip and current news and then answer email questions from their listeners. Their blunt, tongue-in-cheek- comedy keeps me chuckling all day, probably causing my coworkers (and boss) to give me secret side-eyes from their offices. I also turn back to my Pandora comedy stations when I want to switch it up.
3. Instagram/Facebook/Pinterest Breaks
Technology is to the rescue for this one again. Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook (and in that order) gives me the mental break I need from looking at word documents, emails, spreadsheets, layouts and research that can sometimes cause my brain to fry. Procrastination, or nah? I’m working on it. (I lied, I’m not really working on it).
4. Chewing Gum Incessantly
I’m convinced that I have a small oral fixation. I’m a recovering thumbnail-cuticle-chewer (gross I know). It’s a bad habit I’ve had for many years. So to keep my mouth busy (and to keep my fingers away from it) I pop at least two to three pieces of Stride a day. At least my breath stays fresh.
5. Stuff My Face
Talk about emotional eating. I keep a smorgasbord of goodies in my “snack drawer” (yes, I have one of those and if you don’t, you’re missing out) and while I like to think that I only snack when I’m hungry, there are definitely times when I eat out of boredom. I try to keep it to “healthier” snacks such as Nutri-Grain bars, Smart Pop and fruit so that I won’t have to burn as many calories when I’m performing my halftime show during bathroom breaks.
6. Talk to Myself. Aloud.
Now this may come as a result of being an only child or living alone, but talking to myself is definitely a weird work habit of mine. I will talk back to emails. I will talk back to a phone call (after hanging up of course). I will re-read my work (usually stories) out loud. I will ask myself questions (i.e. “Where did I put that stapler?”) and answer myself (“Oh, there it is.”). All of that.
7. Take Off My Shoes
Whether I’m wearing flats or heels, the moment I get behind my desk, those things are coming off. I mean, why wear shoes if I’m sitting? I used to snuggle up in a pair of incredibly sexy pink and purple wool socks with the stickies on the bottom that made my feet look more square then round, but I upgraded to a nifty hooded massaging foot pillow that I won at my department Christmas party. The massager calls for four AA batteries, so I will just being using it to keep my feet warm.
8. Fold my Body into Computer Chair
Due to the usually chilly temperature in my office, I often want to cuddle up in my Gator blanket (Yes, I’m that alum). But it gets a little more complicated than it sounds. To achieve the maximum amount of coverage and warmth, I try to bend every piece of my body so that both arms and legs are contorted in my chair (usually sitting sideways, as if I were on my couch) and that all of me is draped in orange and blue. I’m 5’2 so this usually works until one of my arms or legs decides to break free.
9. Fantasize About Throwing Computer (Keyboard or Mouse) When It Decides to Freeze
Self-explanatory. I also like to fantasize about other things, but that’s another story for another day.
10. Memorize Foot Steps
Luckily, I am fortunate enough to have my own office, which means I get a good amount of privacy. However, because of numbers one through nine, I still like to hear who’s coming before I see them. This gives me to time to prepare myself (eyes alert, back straight, fingers on keys) to act as if it were 8 AM instead of dreadful 3:05 PM.