This Is How We Live And Love

Our generation grew up with the rise of technology, and now in this day and age, we’re so used to everything fast-paced. We’ll get our smartphones from our pockets; hold them all day ‘til dawn. This isn’t how we should be living, or even finding long lasting love. But is there even such a ‘love’ in the hook-up culture that we currently have? Our days now revolve around dating apps, online dating sites, and social media. It’s not your easy guide in finding true love. It never will be, as love can’t be found on Tinder and Grindr.

“A swipe can change your life,” as I’ve seen in one app. Yes, it can – but you shouldn’t rely on it. It’s fun to try those quick and instant dating apps, but is it even worth it? For some, it may seem so, but if you want to build an authentic relationship, I don’t think that you should be even going there. A real relationship starts from meeting someone face-to-face, getting to know each other and deciding to be friends first.

At least that’s how it used to be – unlike in our culture now whereas texting ‘good night’ or ‘good morning’ is already considered an achievement. Maybe we should take some time to re-evaluate our choices in life before opening another app from our smartphones? Maybe we should try living and being in the moment, than actually taking a step back and watching from behind.

We’ve become afraid of anything that’s beyond our control, not wanting to make a fool out of ourselves – afraid that someone might actually see our mistakes and ‘tweet’ it; but that’s where life begins – when you decide to step out of your comfort zone. Is this how we’re going to live day to day? Carefully planning our actions, so that we won’t get embarrassed? Constantly wondering if someone has liked, shared, and commented on our posts? We should never beg for love and acceptance using social media, so stop worrying about the ‘selfie’ you posted; stop being so obsessed about how many likes and comments it got, because really… if you value yourself enough, then you wouldn’t look for it anywhere else.

Back in those days wherein people met over a cup of coffee, or the daily lunch out that most of them used to have. We should not be slaves of the popular apps out there, thinking that, “this will do for now” or, “at least I re-tweeted her tweet anyway,” but rather we should focus on building authentic relationships. We should take time to go out and meet the people we used to bond with, and try to rekindle that kind of feeling. It sad to hear most women say that there aren’t decent men anymore, but only a world filled with douchebags.

It’s how society has brainwashed us, that if a man isn’t like this, or if he isn’t doing this for me – then he’s not “the man I want to be with.” Funny how we all have high standards, that makes most people around us not “date-worthy”. It’s because we’ve been told not to settle for anything less, but nobody ever told us not to think too highly of ourselves.

So how should we even live and love now? In all honesty, I believe that most of us just want emotional security and consistency with our relationships. Deep down, we still long for those intellectual conversations rather than the small talks we always have. We still want to wake up with someone whom we dearly love, and not just another stranger in bed.

We still desire for those simple gestures, because the thought of it means a lot; as opposed to doing everything by ourselves because we can. As much as we hate to admit it, we just wish that most people would do what they say, rather than just saying it in our face. In the end, in this crazy world we live in, we all just hope for something real, long lasting, and not another heartbreak. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


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