10 Questions For The Apathetic

Flickr / Monika Bota
Flickr / Monika Bota

I am a person with apathy. I have lived with apathy my entire life. I struggle daily with the inability to give a shit. So few people understand what it is like to be a person with apathy. I’ve been accused of making excuses for special treatment.

A lot of past employers have ignorantly dismissed this problem I have. Many times I’ve been taken aside and asked why I show up to work late (if ever), or why I’m playing Minesweeper on my computer instead of doing my job. When I bother to explain that it’s because I’m a person with apathy, I’m immediately fired. They either think I’m making things up, or maybe they don’t know how to deal with a person with apathy. Maybe they’re afraid of triggering my apathy, causing me to have a nap attack.

In spite of my apathy, I’ve summoned up just enough care for minutes at a time over the last few days to eventually write and maybe finish this article. With it, I’m pretending to hope to clear the air about what it’s like being a person with apathy.

Here are 30 questions…no, 25. Actually, let’s make it 20. Yeah.

Here are 15 questions that people with apathy keep getting asked, and the answers they can’t be arsed to give.

OK, 10 questions…

1. What are you so apathetic about?

It would be way faster to list all of the things which I’m not apathetic about. I’m still not going to do it.

2. Would you be less apathetic if you were in a relationship?

Now that you mention it, I think I may have a wife and kids. Meh.

3. Are you depressed?

It’s not like I’ve bothered getting myself checked out or anything.

4. Would it help if you stopped smoking weed?

Strangely enough, weed is one of the few things I’m not that apathetic over. If you take away my weed, you’ll be taking away one of the few things which almost motivates me in life.

5. Were you always like this?

As far back as I care to remember.

6. What would you do if you had a nap attack in the middle of work?

Sleep it off.

7. Are you just pretending you have apathy to get out of doing things?

No, I don’t do those things anyway.

8. Why don’t you let things get to you?

It’s slightly more complicated than that, but I don’t care to explain.

9. Am I giving you apathy right now?


10. Shouldn’t you get a job?

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Jameson Dumaurier is a late 20-something bachelor who is tired of getting vagina pics from girls he meets on Tinder.

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