6 Hard Truths About Watching Porn Online

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After watching the movie Don Jon, it came to my attention that male pornographic consumption is actually a problem, and one I didn’t think about much until now. And it’s not just men’s consumption of porn but the possible offense women can take to it. The following are the hard (pun intended) truths about one of the internet’s blackest pastures.

1. Every guy watches porn. “If he says he doesn’t, he’s lying.” Internet porn is something like a place of perverted meditation for men. Greasing the hog is a national pastime for men all over the world. Porn is like a filthy fairy tale where men can live out their most disturbing fantasies. It is also complicated. There is an individual method, interest and process for each male individually. It’s a lot more than just sex on camera.

2. Porn is not for just losers. Porn is for a lot of men. Porn is the forbidden fruit that can be so easily tasted, the escape from sexual reality. Just as women enjoy romantic movies, men enjoy sticky porn. Pornography has taken a step into the limelight and according to the article “Naked Capitalists: There’s No Business Like Porn Business,” the porn industry grosses $10-$14 billion dollars annually. At this point you’re probably thinking, “wow, that’s big,”(ha) and with good reason. Frank Rich, the author of this New York Times Magazine article, claims it’s bigger than most major league sports, and possibly even Hollywood.

3. Porn is not cheating. Porn is that sticky gooey gum (picture it) that plugs the holes in a relationship and keeps it going strong. Porn provides a release for men and can help avoid the temptation to do something they will regret. Even my parents’ search history is not as clean as I would like it. This brings me to my next point.

4. Private Browsing. Incognito. If you have made your way this far into the internet to read this article, then you know what these two are. A piece of helpful advice is to turn it on. Now.

5. Porn is addictive. More addictive than drugs. I know this is a controversial point to make, but think about it. Do you drop acid three times a day? No, because that isn’t possible. Addictive drugs have consequences that can ruin a life and chances are a person either quits the drug, cuts down the usage, or dies. Porn is lethal in its own way. There are no physical repercussions, but instead an urge that can’t be shaken. Porn is too much power, with too little responsibility. I’ve wasted days locked up in the misty damp air of my masturbatorium (picture it), with sunlight being replaced by the thickness of discomfort and sweaty frustration (picture it again). Here, Louis CK on the topic:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfkG_0hyIoc&w=584&h=390]

6. Finally, porn is a lesson. Porn is not real sex, it is fake. Porn is lust and despair, coupled with frustration and a desire for the unthinkable. Porn is a naughty thing, but most importantly it is not to be confused with the real thing. “Sex,” as Julianne Moore said in Don Jon, “is losing yourself in another person.”