A gigantic bull’s penis currently has the attention of the entire town of Hurricane, Utah after Barista’s Restaurant, a new business, placed a statue of the well endowed beast atop its sign. The problem, residents say, isn’t that the statute has a penis, it’s that the penis is super huge.
Holy cow!! Sure kids will see bulls on ranches, but not suspended from 25 feet in the air to make everything that much more visible and noticeable that otherwise wouldn’t really be seen! Don’t know about you, but my kids don’t lie down beneath bulls or any other animals to have that kind of vantage point that this particular piece of “art” gives when looking at it from below.
True, looking upward at a giant bull penis is somewhat unnatural but the question remains, would looking up at a bull penis of any size be acceptable?
“The giant bull is awesome,” Hurricane City resident Angel Janell said. “The giant, weird testicles and penis are not even anatomically correct … that is my issue.”
So, perhaps it really is the size that’s the issue. Perhaps this is just a question of the town’s artistic tastes tending towards realism. The restaurant’s owner doesn’t think so. He thinks people are just haters. Specifically, he thinks they hate him.
“If I put Pinocchio up there, its nose would be too big,” Ward said. “It’s me. It’s me. It’s not the bull. It’s not the restaurant. They don’t like me. But you know what, where does it say in the world, in the Constitution, that they can prevent me having the right to do legal commerce in the United States? That is my God-given right.”
Hurricane residents have currently set up a petition to have the enormous bovine’s genitals trimmed, likely via forced mutilation, by revoking the restaurant’s business license.. The problem with that is that the city approved the design already. However, they admit that the original blueprint was of a drawing “three inches tall,” substantially less impressive than the real life version.
For the record, the testicles are accurate.