The above screenshot was taken by myself only moments ago. Apparently, in an attempt to gain access to corporate and entertainment secrets unavailable to others, Gawker Media now has access to proven time travel technology as exhibited in the above image file. Please note the date on which their privacy policy was last updated.

It’s from the future, January 17, 2015.

This is undeniable proof that Nick Denton and his ilk have pierced the veil of time, as it were, even while ignoring all moral ramifications, paradoxes, and journalistic ethical conundrums involved in such an undertaking.

However, I suppose it is equally possible that if they have access to such earthshattering tech then they could well have transported me to the past just as I was reaching the bottom of the above document. Indeed, they may have wiped my memory as well although for what purpose, who can say?

Indeed, is any of this real? For God’s sakes, what year is it and are these walls made of hardened earth, this brick and mortar, real? Is any of this real?

And yet, even as I check the post date at the top a new mystery arises and two new dates appear.

How could this update of their Privacy Policy have been written yesterday, December 17th, 2014 when at the bottom of the page it clearly says that it was last updated on January 17th of 2015, next year? And in what year of January 19th will this policy come into effect? Is this one of the paradoxes I spoke of earlier. Earlier, also known as the past?

Thought Catalog readers, I don’t understand what’s happening. Can someone please help me?! Please, I need someone to help me understand! Is any of this real? Have I wandered into a prison of the mind?