What Do I Hate And What I Do About It

American Psycho
American Psycho

I told Mollie, “hate” is a strong word. She hated something that seemed small and not worth hating.

Why such a little girl has to have such a big emotion? But I guess I am inflicted with that mental rash as well.

What I hate: 

1. Owning Shit

I don’t like to own anything. I feel like they hold me down.

I want to be like a kite, with only a strong arm and a pair of feet that love me to hold me to the Earth.

I mostly never use the things I own. “Own” just becomes a label. And I don’t like to go to stores. Shiny things whispering to me to take them home.

Solution:

  • I threw everything I own out. (I did this three times. The last time was a 100% purge of all memories, furniture, diplomas, photos, paperwork, stuff from 40 years).
  • I have one small bag of clothes. If I buy one thing, I have a rule: I throw one thing out.
  • All books go on Kindle. Or I read in bookstore.
  • If I feel the urge to buy something, I think, “what will i throw out” and then I usually don’t buy.
  • Smile a lot.

2. Commuting

I don’t like to travel far to a meeting or a place where I have to do some work.

Solution:

I stay in Airbnbs near where I know where I will have to be. I don’t leave NYC EVER for work unless: I’m going to run into someone I love.

By not renting or owning it means I save on:

a. All the costs of owning
b. Maintenance
c. Furniture
d. The BS of renting: first month, last month, two security deposit months, all the references, letters from accountant, etc – all not necessary
e. I get to explore new neighborhoods as much as possible.
f. Forces me to own few things, to travel light
g. Example: my podcast studio is next door from my Airbnb right now. BAM!

3. I hate when someone hates my above response:

Solution: Leave me alone. Other solution: I ask myself, “is this feeling of ‘hate’ really me, or just a reaction of my body?”

4. I hate interacting with people where I feel bad about myself afterwards.

Solution: I only spend time around people I really like.

  • Which means I can’t have a solid job. Because a job forces you to be around people you don’t like at least part of the time.
  • Easy excuse to leave events, when someone shows up that I don’t feel like being around.
  • I like to be mostly by myself most of the time anyway. I like me.
  • Should I do business with someone? Easy solution: yes if I like them. No, if I don’t. Money does not play a factor.
  • Even if it costs me money, i get away from a toxic person no matter what the cost as quickly as possible.

5. Being sick

When I even have a cold, I can’t get any work done or be with people I love.

Solution:

I like nutritionist’s Michael Pollan’s simple rules. Despite all the diets: Paleo, Vegan, Pescetarian, high-carb, low processed sugars, etc etc. these simple rules have been working really well for me lately:

a. Eat food (not processed)
b. Don’t eat a lot (I do about 2 meals and one snack a day)
c. Mostly plant based (I pretty much stopped red meat and will do fish only a few times week.

The hardest part is no processed foods (like most breads and snacks). I like Pringles, for instance.

But after awhile of doing this you see the difference

Oh, and I sleep a lot. This avoids a lot of sickness. I slept 10 hours last night.

6. Working out.

I HATE going to the gym. But as I get older I think it’s important although, to be honest I don’t know why.

Solution:

  • Load up my iPad with a TV show with captions for the treadmill. I HATE the treadmill. But by the time a show is over, it wasn’t so bad.
  • Gamify the weight machines. Try to do a little bit harder than the day before.
  • Simplify. Whatever I do, I try to do one set of 10 reps, then make it harder and try to do two sets of 5-7
  • Leave in an hour.

7. When someone working with me does something wrong.

Solution:

  • It’s not really that important.
  • Mick Jagger and Keith Richards are ultimately still friends.

8. For Everything else that I hate:

General solution:

  • If I hate it, I don’t do it. Period
  • Except…if for some reason I have to do it (very rare) I try to have one takeaway where I learn something

I’m going to work on a book today. I’m going to go swimming today. I made one business phone call with a friend of mine for the past 22 years. It’s 9am and that’s the last phone call I will make today.


Those are my 10 Commandments of Hate.

If you are mathematically inclined and notice that I only have 8 and not ten…well, good for you. TC mark

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