The Moment You Realize Your Ex Wasn’t ‘The One’ (And Why It’s A Good Thing)

Alexander Andrews
Alexander Andrews

We’ve all been through that first bad breakup. It’s painful, it’s gut wrenching, and you can’t help but eating all your feelings in the form of way too many burritos. (Okay, maybe that last part is just me).

You wallow in all the what-ifs and spend too much time drinking Cabernet and thinking about whether or not you’ve ruined your one true chance at happiness.

But this is okay.

It’s okay because you had a lot of great times with your ex. You truly loved them. At one point (or at many, many points), you were certain that they were ‘the one’: that hypothetical, dream-like person who you were destined to spend the rest of your life with.

You saw things in them that made you think about the future. The way they were with kids made you think they’d make a great parent. Their maturity (and ability to do their own taxes) made you think that they would be the perfect partner to keep you grounded (even down the road when you want to splurge on that trip to Phuket). But for whatever reason, your relationship ended. You both had to move on.

Ever since then, it’s been a series of ups and downs. You’ve gone on diets, taken up weird hobbies (watermelon carving is not as easy as they make it look online), and you’ve gone on more Tinder dates than you care to admit.

Then it happened. It was two dates in and you realized that it was possible. You felt something. Something you hadn’t felt in a very long time.

That person made you laugh the way only one person ever had before. You discovered that there was potential for a spark between you and someone else; someone who wasn’t your ex.

Up until now, all the dates you’d been on seemed insignificant and while you had fun, you realized that none of them felt up to par or even in the same playing field as where your ex was. This is important.

Not because it means that this person you met is your future soulmate (or even that they’re worth taking with you to that music festival this summer). It’s important because it proves that there is hope. That spark you feel proves that there can be another who can fill that void that your ex left when you ended things.

So embrace that spark. Let it motivate you to take a chance and to move on.

Let it be the kick in the ass you need, the reminder that life goes on and that you aren’t broken. You’ll always have the memories of you and your ex. They’ll be okay. And so will you. TC mark

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