You are drawn to the soft-spoken, the gentle dulcet tones, the romantic way with words, the coaxing persuasion, the poised speech, the way meticulous diction creates superfluous melodies.
You are repulsed by rough, casual remarks, offhand comments that stick to you and sting, things they don’t mean but you take to heart, curt, choppy one-liners and that lone ‘k.’ you receive in a text reply.
You will never be able to win debates or arguments, because they send your heart crashing and emotions sky-rocketing. You will never be able to brush off those random hate comments left by anons on your Instagram. You will never be able to bring yourself to ignore conversations, to let words float by.
You will fall in love with poetry and prose, for the way they lift your spirits and calm your soul. You will fall in love with writing and you will learn to pour yourself out, overwhelmingly, into pen and paper. You will fall in love with expressing yourself, with talking to strangers, with speaking your mind.
You will be made vulnerable, weak – to anyone with a tongue and the ability to use it. They will be able to manipulate you, trick you, tease you. They will be able to hold your heart in their hand as they praise you. You give them the power to hold a knife to you, but you trust them to never plunge it in. But they do.
Sometimes it’s tiny pricks, when they forget to tell you they love you, when they break small, meaningless promises. Sometimes it’s a gaping hole, when they pull away and stop texting, when they stop speaking to you, when they ignore your cries.
You will forever be weak to those who shower your with compliments and their constant messages, calls, conversations. You will be weak to those who seem to hate you with the way that they speak to you, ever so coldly.
But you will learn. You will learn that others show their affection in ways that are not heard or read. You will learn to be dependent on yourself for words of affirmation, and you will learn that not everyone means what they say.